Monday, May 10, 2010

The Accidental Anorexic

So I'm crashing today. With a major headache. Feel like absolute crap.

Then I eat and WOW, amazeballs, I feel soooo much better.

The wheels start turning. Hmmm. What have I eaten today?

1.Sugar free chocolate muffin for breakfast--200 calories if I'm lucky.

2.Another muffin for lunch with a 1/2 cup serving of cottage cheese (which I could not finish)--350 calories if I'm lucky.

3.Snack: Some Smarties since I'm feeling so crappy, chased down with Advil for the throbbing sinus headache.

4.Dinner is a bust--can't work up the appetite to eat the low carb taco salad I've made. So I have the only things that sound good to me; string cheese and 4 strawberries with 1/2 cup dark chocolate mousse (naturally low carb). Somewhere between 350 and 400 calories.

Suddenly I feel better. Imagine that, you gotta eat if you want to feel good. Who knew?

What is going on?

Ketosis can kill appetite pretty well, but there's no way I'm in ketosis--haven't been strict low carbing due to the blood sugar although I probably do come in below 100g of carb a day. Maybe I should check the ketostix just to be sure? Eh, screw that, they're expired.

I don't know what the deal is, but I think I need to pay more attention to what I'm eating and get above 1000 calories a day, whether I'm hungry or not. For some reason, I'm back to where nothing sounds good, which mucks up meal planning as I can't decide what to make because, in reality, I would rather not touch food ever again. It all sounds like vomitus to my stomach.

Worse, I'm oblivious to all of this. I'm not hungry. I just feel like crap, my body isn't even telling me to feed myself.

Why does every itty bitty little thing have to be such drama? For the millionth time, I just want my life back. Is that too much to ask?

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