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Monday, May 3, 2010

Well, Crap, I Am So Lame

I called the doctor today about the steroid withdrawal not going well. Of course I did it after I hit the wall--we are in the midst of a total home reorg and remodel. We just moved into our new family room yesterday and this morning I was cleaning up toys. Nothing heavy duty, but too much for me.

So I'm shaky, nauseated, short of breath and am fantasizing about pulling a Rip Van Winkle. Up until this point, I was thinking, 'I'm good. I'm going to be fine. I feel good.' You know, the usual pep talk bullshit that has very little to do with reality.

Although I actually do feel pretty good...right up until I hit the wall. Up to that point, I'd been dithering. Should I call? Should I wait? How did I feel? I couldn't decide until the shaking started.

On the phone with the doc's secretary, tears started to come from out of nowhere, I had no idea they were there. Ugh. I hate crying in front of other people. I avoid sad movies as well as sad books precisely because I'm a sap and I don't want to cry like a big fat baby.

I managed to get out the basics.

I don't feel well. I had the stomach flu last week which made things worse. I'm below baseline in what I can do. If we're going to do any testing, can we please do it on Thursday so I don't have to go through another weekend like this? Please, I need to be able to function.

I need to cook the food in my fridge before it all ends up in the garbage.

But for now, I have no choice but to rest.

2 comments:

  1. If you're steroid withdrawing, I'm sure you know the tears will come from nowhere at anytime.

    Also, rest. Babeola will get a kick out of helping Mommy. (Mine did, until they got to a certain age.)

    Hang in there.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The thing is I can't do anything BUT rest which is not how life works, you know? Maybe it is just withdrawal, but my experience has been when I feel like this, my adrenal glands are not functioning well.

    I don't think I was crying from the steroids just because I haven't been like that--I've been too tired to be all that emotional. I should have waited though and not called when my frustration was at its peak.

    The doc hasn't called me back yet either. :(

    M

    ReplyDelete

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