Friday, December 10, 2010

Keeping Warm With a Small Rant

There is an article on a mainstream media website by a Doctor of Psychology admonishing the infertile of the world to stop ruining the environment with their children.

Infertiles should all adopt, says the good doctor who has 2 children born of her own womb.

Apparently her special snowflakes don't have a carbon footprint, but us infertiles bemoaning our empty wombs are destroying the planet with our selfishness.

Yeah, me and my ONE kid to her two, are the problem.

I am not going to link to it because it deserves no traffic. The facts are antiquated and the truth is ignored in favor of this doctor's bias (the editor who gave this drivel a stamp of approval without checking the facts should be fired). The whole thing is incredibly offensive to infertiles and adoptive parents.

I refuse to pass the insult on.

But I did want to say, NO ONE on this planet may tell anyone to adopt a child unless they themselves have done so.

Period.

The ability to have biological children does not absolve people of any moral or ethical obligation to the orphaned children of the world. You may NOT burden infertiles with the idea it is their duty to adopt and no one else's.

In addition, if you then go so far as to place the blame for environmental destruction solely on infertiles, then everyone will think you are stupid and possibly mentally challenged.

Further, for anyone who happens to have biological children and has never dealt with infertility (i.e. this nutjob psychologist), keep your damn mouth shut. No one going through infertility wants to hear your opinions on IVF or any other reproductive procedure. You don't know jack, I don't care how edumacated you are.

Don't confuse reading the map with walking the walk.

I have a relative who is a Nurse Practitioner who asked me why we didn't "just adopt" when we were still struggling to conceive.

"Why didn't you?" I asked.

She shrugged and looked at her two kids outside playing football. "We didn't have to."

Yeah. Not cool. -500 billion points for her. Fertile people telling infertile people what to do is NOT the key to pleasant family get together.

I used to think I knew what this infertility stuff was about. What was right, what was wrong, what made sense. The hubby and I used to think IVF was crazy town and then we had to walk the walk.

Infertility is not the kind of thing you can judge from the sidelines. The morass of moral, ethical, legal, emotional, and social issues is so complex, I still haven't even unraveled it all and I've been at it for nigh seven years now.

For a PhD psychologist to do so on a national platform just fuels further stupidity and doesn't help anyone. What a waste of space, on many levels.

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