Friday, July 10, 2015

Since You Asked

This is how my writing is going...

The same day my stomach blew up...

I had a call with Ama zon's HQ, which was/is kind of a big deal. 

It was for a special project I'd been invited to participate in.

I white knuckled my way through the call, because you can't not take a call from Ama zon when you're an indie. These calls can make you.

But I don't know if I'll be able to make their deadline now.

To avail myself of the opportunity with Ama zon, it was essential to have a very productive week the week I got sick. I needed to make word count, not be stuck in the ER and down for the count with pain.

I'm very behind now. I was distracted by the diverticulitis. The pain was so bad, I tried to just sleep through it as much as I could. Focusing on anything else seemed impossible.

Other than my body fucking up my writing career, everything is going okay. I have a fan base and avoided Kindle Unlimited, which has insulated me somewhat from the worst of the latest changes in the industry. (A lot of folks just saw their income evaporate overnight because the put all their eggs in KU.) My last book performed well--not a break out hit but a solid seller with good conversion to my backlist (i.e. they bought the other books in the series). This year won't be as rich as last year, but I'm still a profitable writer.

I'm surviving.

And I think I'm done posting for a while...unless something else happens that I feel the need to write about.

Thursday, July 9, 2015

This Much Fun Is Illegal

1. I ate plain scrambled eggs today! That has been the highlight of my week so far. So it goes first.

2. I wonder if I subconsciously knew something was up when I wrote that Update post. I could have posted any time...why right before I get sick? Interesting. I did have some weird stuff going on, but I thought it had resolved and I couldn't tell ya if it was related to what happened later or not. No clue.

3. The antibiotics are kicking in so the pain is not as bad. I might be pain free by tomorrow. Just in time to go out of town and squeeze my bloated belly into a formal evening gown while making nice with relatives I can't stand. That should be interesting. 

4. I seem to have a cold now. And a canker sore. I would say it's stress BUT the ER was filthy. I mean, truly filthy. Everyone was professional, but I kind of don't want to ever go back due to the filth. 
I've never seen anything like it.

There were used gloves on the floor in my room and in one of the bathrooms. The toilets had old smears of urine/fecal matter/blood all over them. I actually had to clean a toilet before I could use it. 

When I was in the waiting room, even with as much as my stomach/groin/legs hurt, I had strong urges to clean things up. There was litter everywhere. Empty bags of chips (yes, plural) all over the place. As I waited, someone dumped a whole bottle of formula on the floor and left it there (perhaps, like me, they knew there were no towels in the restroom).

So I imagine I've picked up something from that environment. It seemed like a place where a cold or flu (or ebola!) could fester. And I can believe the toilet seats could give someone herpes...or chlamydia or gonorrhea. Ha. Maybe that's where all the STDs are coming from.

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

My New Weight Loss Diet

It's not a good one.

Spent all day in the ER.

I was thinking possible appendicitis.

Fever + 48 hours of non stomach flu abdominal pain + elevated white blood cells.

They were thinking chlamydia or gonorrehea.

I told them, "I'm fat, forty-two and too tired for that much excitement."

They remained skeptical.

And since I have a vagina and abdominal pain, they had to be sure I wasn't secretly a whore.

I'm not.

I think they were surprised.

Anyway, the CT scan came back with diverticulitis.

The pain is excruciating.

(This is how I know my pancreatitis was/is mild.)

I regret turning down the pain meds.  Advil doesn't touch this. Not even close.

I have to keep reminding myself, I don't do well on narcotics and they don't really help either.

But I am still wistful.

And not eating.

All this GI stuff runs in one side of my family. I used to have great digestion but it looks like the DNA is catching up to me.

PS: Everyone was kind and compassionate while also asking me over and over about STDs (as if I would know that without a test anyways). This was the only question that was repeated. They (seriously, more than one) had this look in their eyes like 'oh yeah, you're gonna have it' which got to be kind of weird. WTH?

PPS: Hemoglobin is going down based on the ER bloodwork. I'll likely be anemic with the next menstrual cycle.  Damn it.