Monday, August 29, 2011

Not Okay and I Don't Know Why

The toddler has an old camera and loves to take pictures. She poses her toys for elaborate portraits. There's a whole 'up the nostrils' series and our ceiling fan is her favorite subject.

We've had a few conversations about privacy. As in, don't take pictures of Mommy peeing on the toilet or coming out of the shower. Mostly, though she is intent on capturing the world as she sees it, which is awesome to watch. Every toddler should have a camera.

If I had my act together, I would have downloaded the photos and shared a few, leading up to the pic she snapped of me huddling on the couch. But I'm not together.

The post-vacation headache lasted a week. Despite NSAIDs, every afternoon I ended up head butting a pillow trying to ease the pain.

That has passed, but I just can't shake the fatigue. So now I'm on the couch because of the fatigue. Note that I am not a napper, something has to be going on for me to lay down.

It could be adrenal, I guess, but I am hesitant to take steroids as I can mostly push through to do what needs to be done, well, except for the daily nap part. There aren't too many other adrenal hallmarks. No weakness, or heaviness in limbs and the bp has been trending higher than usual, not lower than usual.

Your guess is as good as mine. All I know is I'm tired of feeling awful. I want to wake up ready to greet the day. I want a clear head, not this lingering fogginess that makes everything hard. Technically, there is nothing wrong with me so...

Maybe I'm allergic to vacations?


  1. I just retired from teaching, after thirty years. I wanted to work forever, but multiple sclerosis got the upper hand this winter. Fatigue, pain, and cog fog were the winners, and my pension and family income the losers.

    I read your final sentence "allergic to vacations" and wanted to share something i realized ... that vacations change your daily routine, the time that you wake, that you eat, and that you move. By the end of vacation, you are out of sorts, not feeling well, and either under or over caffeinated. School teachers realize this by their third year of teaching.

    I read your profile and know that you have a host of conditions. I did, too, and then my sister, a nurse, insisted I stop treating the symptoms and find the cause. After three years of testing, I was diagnosed with MS at the age of fifty-seven.

    I think I was better off not knowing, just treating the symptoms as they arose. Now I live with depression and anxiety on top of the regular routine of symptoms. There is no cure for the cause ... just a terrible prognosis and expensive injections with little promise (30%) of slowing progression.

    Just a word to the wise ... watch your schedule during vacations. It might help.

  2. Blogger ate my initial comment. Sigh. I hope you're feeling more energetic soon. I seem to be susceptible to coming down with viruses (viri?) post-vacations, and I hope that's all it is for you. (And if so, that it goes away soon without getting noticeably worse!)

  3. Terry: Thanks for your comment. Sorry to hear about the MS. I have some friends who are battling it.

    I'm trying to decide if my routine changed or not. As a work/stay at home mom, my days are pretty much set by the toddler who was with us. But my environment definitely changed, particularly the food environment.

    Aviva: Thank you.I am remembering I had a cold sore last week which occurs when the adrenals are run down. And there was some sinus gunk, but no actual illness. So maybe I was fighting the good fight. Maybe I should've taken some HC.

    I don't really know the way forward anymore, other than to hope it just sorts itself out on its own without additional steroids.



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