Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Ghosts of Asthma Past

My hospitalization in 2010 was preceded by my daughter being sick for a good three months straight--back-to-back bugs. The last bug savaged my lungs like a cannibal on (ha!) steroids.

So here I am today and my kiddo has been sick since before Halloween. She is on at least bug number two, and, at the moment, is worsening as the gunk climbs up from her lungs to her sinuses. I am concerned for her, but there's nothing to be done beyond worry. No need for antibiotics right now or breathing treatments, just hope that it clears up soon.

On top of that....Thanks to Facebook, I can now say I know more people with the flu than without. How we don't have it yet is  mystery, but I worry that it will be bug number three and history will repeat.

When I was in the ER back in 2010, one of the research docs came down to see me. They wanted my DNA as a "non responder asthmatic" (meaning I took all the meds and the asthma didn't care) and they talked at me for a while (I was a bit of a captive audience). Their words haunt me.

Their spouse has bad asthma and the early school years with their kids were--and I quote--"hell because of the bugs". The spouse stayed home in an effort to stay out of the germ pool.

The look in their eyes as they told me all this was chilling. It was the look of knowledge someone wishes they didn't have, of knowing the hard road ahead and holding back the directions because it would spare no pain. It was pity.

I don't remember a lot of being in the ER and in the hospital during that particular episode, but I will never forget that doctor. They're my own personal ghost of asthma past, present and future.

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