Monday, June 9, 2014

Screw Ups and Successes

It is a terrible idea to run after you've had your gall bladder removed.

Ask me how I know!

The kiddo had a really bad fall and I rushed over to scoop her up and make sure nothing was broken.

It was just a quarter of a block. I ran real slow because my body wasn't even close to 100%. I could literally feel the energy draining from me as I pushed to get to the kiddo and see if we had just won ourselves an ER visit.

As a result, I feel like my internal organs have been rearranged. I was very sore for several days after that, but I don't think I popped any stitches or did any lasting damage.

Naturally, the kiddo is fine.

But still falling, tripping and sliding and very lucky not to have any serious injures; one of the falls was in the tub with a very big thud that stopped my heart. I've actually put her in a physical activity time out so all her various scrapes and bruises can heal. She's scraped both legs, both arms and her chin. Let's give all that some time to heal before we go asphalt diving again, okay?


Do not stand in the tub.

Do not stand in the tub.

Do not stand in the tub.

Especially if you're refusing to put weight on one leg because you don't want the scrapes to get wet. Just ask us and we'll help you! We're parents! That's what we're here for!

She's in a science summer camp next week. Maybe they can keep her in one piece!  As far as I know, there are no bikes, scooters or tubs there.

I started cholestryamine (how the eff do you spell that?) and it has stopped the bile dumping. Maybe, with time, my body will adjust and I can stop taking it.

It's useful but also a pita, so I would prefer to do without. Or switch to one of the meds that is a pill.

I'm supposed to be writing right now. I promised myself I would do it. Today. Tonight. Now.

And...nada. Instead I'm over here, talking to nobody.

I had my second most productive day since the surgery, though. Wrapped up some promotion. Worked out a few small ad campaigns. Made graphics in Photoshop. Thought about where I'm going in my career.

Oh, that last one was a mistake.

When I think about that, I freak a little. On the one hand, I outranked Nora Roberts earlier this year. And we're not even the same genre! Readers talk about me in the same breath as major authors in my genre.

On the other, it's weird how easy it is to outrank Nora Roberts. Maybe I caught her during a lull between new books or something. I'm still small potatoes compared to lots and lots of other authors. I'm always feeling half baked as a writer, like who the hell am I to be somebody? And then there's all the responsibility that comes with being known.

You have fans. Sometimes your fans do things and then other people think you told the fans to do that when you didn't. And you have the writers, some of whom are jealous or just plain weird. Just today I spotted an author I know who appropriated my heroine's first name and then used my hero's first name as their heroine's last name.

So, for example, my Daria Smith and Clark Winters became, Daria Clark. In the same subgenre. Any other genre, I would have taken it as coincidence, but they're right there with me, competing with a mash-up of my characters' names.

It's not illegal and probably almost no one else notices, but it's tacky as hell and is a great way to get me to pass on selecting an author for various marketing projects. Yeah, that opportunity I had to introduce you to a bunch of new readers? Sorry, pass. I don't trust you now.

Yeah, so I can't think about that stuff. It leads nowhere good: Insecurity. Paranoia. Fear of success. Got to shut the door on that shit before it gains the upper hand. Don't think about writing and publishing, just do it.

Anyway, if all goes well this year, I'll have achieved some serious numbers when it comes to mailing list subscribers, FB pages likes, Goodreads friends, Facebook friends and Twitter followers. Success in this business is in your platform numbers. The longer your reader reach, the better you will sell.

It still boggles my mind that I have made anything of this author business. I wonder if it ever becomes old hat?

On a related note, we (my business partner and I) just finished our first month in the little publishing related venture I mentioned a while back. We already have cash flow and are outperforming the two competitors we've chosen to measure ourselves against. Apparently all those post-op flubs didn't hurt us.

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