Monday, May 16, 2011

Who needs adrenal problems when you've got kids?

The toddler has decided that 6am is the best time to seize the day. This is a big change from her usual 7:45-8 am wake-up call.

So while 6am is not particularly early, it is if you haven't seen it in a long while. I've been visiting for about two weeks now and I'm ready to go home already.

Add in a regular rotation of 4 am crying because a lovey can't be found and blech.

So it's all catching up to me now and I'm a little tired (complete with headache), plus miffed about it, since, if we were sleeping like usual, I would be feeling great.

If it's not one thing, it's another.

We've tried a couple different approaches to try and get her to sleep longer*, but no dice. Apparently, I will be spending my summer rising (and setting) with the sun.

The big toddler news is....she's alternating legs going up stairs!!!!! HUGE improvement.

Now we have to get her alternating on the way down. But finally some good progress after a year of PT. I can tell she's getting stronger because she's not leaning on me as hard when I help her on the steps.

The sad terrible no good news is the toddler told me the other day "I don't have any friends and no one likes me because I'm mean." That's pretty much verbatim what she said.

Well, I don't know about you and your kids (if you have kids), but that kind of statement was not what I was going for when I sent her to preschool. So glad we (and my parents) could pay all that money to completely destroy my kid's self-esteem.

Where is the parenting manual for this one? If you've got it, can I borrow it? Because I am at a loss.

I can not imagine how she must feel about herself to be able to articulate something like that. It's just heart breaking. It makes me want to never send her out in the world ever again.

She is not a mean girl. She is a perfectly normal, lovely three year old. I see her in action enough to know this is true.

I've been telling her that she is not mean, she's little and still learning and we all make mistakes. I tell her those kids saying that crap to her are wrong and she should not believe what they say about her.

And then I sit on my hands and bite my tongue because momma bear? Wants to rampage.

We are definitely not sending her back to that toxic pit they call a preschool next year. I may actually keep her home just so I can be sure her social interactions are positive for a while.

These early years are so formative and it concerns me deeply to see her having such a terrible first experience with school. I hope the damage is not something that will follow her through life.

*Of course we bring her into bed with us, that's like Parenting 101, but she fidgets constantly and I end up with toddler toes in my butt crack. Cold toddler toes. Yes, I wear underwear and pants even, but it's like there's a magnet in my butt crack.

You try sleeping with wiggling toes up your butt and let me know how it oworks out.


  1. Yay for the toddler's legs, boo for the school.
    Some thoughts for school - if she has quite a while left, you could either teach her how to crack a joke after the 'I'm sorry' after she falls, or otherwise try comedy to break up an embarassing situation.
    Also, I think you need to bring the toddler's comment to the teachers' attention - or at least the director. The adults need to know she's hurting, and you will then be able to determine if it's overwork or incompetence if they don't do anything about it.


  2. I've been talking to the teachers. I even wrote a letter as, at one point, the head teacher rolled her eyes at me quite rudely (and it was only the second time I ever said anything to her ever, it's not like I was complaining 24/7). They are weird.

    Remember this is me we are talking about. Apparently the same freakish karma that mucks up my medical care is crossing over to preschool.

    M (Pissed of Patient who is too lazy to log into her blog)

  3. PS. To ensure I was professional and not making things worse, my mom friend who is a child psychologist, looked over the letter and said it was a good letter.

    I try not to be the crazy person. I actively work at it and solicit feedback from impartial third parties. It doesn't matter because I can't compensate for the crayzee of others.

    All I can do is remove the toddler from the situation. Her last day is in 2 weeks and then we are done with them.

  4. Grrr on how your kid is being treated, and bigger GRRRRRRR on the school for teachers and administrator(s) allowing this to happen.

    My kid was being targeted by another kid when she attended a KinderCare. The kid was biting her, they'd put him in time-out, and as soon as he was released he'd go after her again. She'd come home with welts from the bites all over her. One day, he pulled a handful of her hair out. It was awful -- she'd cry and beg not to be taken there. The director pretended to be working with us and the other family, but she (understandably!) didn't feel safe there. It was awful -- I couldn't take care of her on my own and the program we were moving her to couldn't take her for two weeks. The good news? The preschool we moved her to was awesome and, after a few months, she was saying she loved going to school. (After the attacks started, she'd say repeatedly she hated school, which was so painful to hear.)

    Anyway, I feel for you. It hurts a lot when our kids are being hurt.

  5. Oh wow. That's horrible! Your poor daughter! I can't believe adults are so incompetent when it comes to kids. We are older right? Smarter? I mean, adults can read, right?

    I was with the mom who is the child psychologist tonight and her little one was having issues too this year, even saying similar things that the toddler has said (our daughters are the same age). But she had the skills and professional expertise to manage it whereas I was like WTF people and running in circles.

    I get that some of this stuff is normal BUT the teachers need to be doing something. It should not be that they only noticed the toddler was falling into other kids simply because I was in their face. Their classroom mgmt skills should be such that they see this crap before it gets to the parent complaint stage.


    It's amazing to me how few people in the world are actually any good at their jobs.



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