Well, Crap, I Am So Lame

I called the doctor today about the steroid withdrawal not going well. Of course I did it after I hit the wall--we are in the midst of a total home reorg and remodel. We just moved into our new family room yesterday and this morning I was cleaning up toys. Nothing heavy duty, but too much for me.

So I'm shaky, nauseated, short of breath and am fantasizing about pulling a Rip Van Winkle. Up until this point, I was thinking, 'I'm good. I'm going to be fine. I feel good.' You know, the usual pep talk bullshit that has very little to do with reality.

Although I actually do feel pretty good...right up until I hit the wall. Up to that point, I'd been dithering. Should I call? Should I wait? How did I feel? I couldn't decide until the shaking started.

On the phone with the doc's secretary, tears started to come from out of nowhere, I had no idea they were there. Ugh. I hate crying in front of other people. I avoid sad movies as well as sad books precisely because I'm a sap and I don't want to cry like a big fat baby.

I managed to get out the basics.

I don't feel well. I had the stomach flu last week which made things worse. I'm below baseline in what I can do. If we're going to do any testing, can we please do it on Thursday so I don't have to go through another weekend like this? Please, I need to be able to function.

I need to cook the food in my fridge before it all ends up in the garbage.

But for now, I have no choice but to rest.