A Tapering We Will Go

Full disclosure, I ate a lot of jelly beans yesterday. The Starburst sour ones which are like crack to me.

I finally rallied my inner will power and handed the bag over to the hubby with instructions to take it out of the house before I started acting like Golem with the ring.

So basically, today, I feel like poop. Too much sugar.

When will I learn?

Taper is going well. What is so interesting to me is all the subtle signs that things are still adjusting.

For instance, when I wake up in the morning, I wake up to muscle spasms. They aren't painful, but prohibit me from flexing or stretching until the steroids hit the bloodstream. This says to me my body is still missing those extra 5mg of Hydrocortisone, as before I tapered, I was fine. No symptoms at all. I could even take my dose late by an hour and didn't feel a thing. Now my body wakes me up if I miss the regular dose time and protests.

At night I notice things get a bit twitchy too.

Energy is a million times better than all the other tapers I've done for the past year, but I still tire out easily and have slowed down somewhat. I don't turn down the opportunity to nap, although I could probably power through.

I anticipate returning to strict low carb as well as daily workouts this week and starting up the plyometrics again. The only thing is my knee is kind of jacked up and bothering me, so we'll see if I can jump as much as I want to.

The cystic acne is completely gone, but I will have lots of discolored skin from the cysts. Maybe at some point I can afford some peels at the dermatologist to slough off the worst of it. My skin doesn't pit or scar scar, it discolors. I like to think it's not too bad since I am, after all, mole girl with freckles and cafe au lait marks mixed in with the moles. I don't think anyone expects me to be one color.

But I know which spots are 'scarring' and which aren't and it bothers me. A lot.

I also know how good my skin can look and this? Ain't it.

This past year has aged me. The heavy toll is stamped all over my skin. It makes me sad.

I used to look younger than I was, now I think I look older.