Conflicted

Not doing so hot here. Oh, how I hate typing that. Ugh.

I really can't believe, after a week of intimate contact with the toddler's vomit, that I would get the flu this late in the game. The incubation period can't possibly be that long, can it? Or am I about to get sick with a capital S?

Her congestion is a separate bug, at least that's what the ped says and that's what I've been flirting with for the last several days.

Right now I'm freezing, my BP has dropped and I'm weak with fatigue. Reduced appetite, but at the same time shaking with hunger. Oh and back pain and stomach pain yadda yadda yadda.

I could take 5mg, but I'm not sure I'm really sick. I'm not sure I'm adrenal, or, rather, I can't bring myself to believe it.

If I take 5mg now, I might feel better. Or I might feel worse as it may not be what I need. And then I won't be able to sleep.

Is it really possible that I've lost so much ground? Shouldn't I be past this? I thought I had my happy ending.

Of course, the usual chaos abounds over here. Is your life as crazy as mine? I can't be the only one. Hubby is struggling with his broken rib just as we need to move a lot of furniture between floors to accommodate another house guest. We've run out of bedrooms and had to tear down the toddler's playroom to make room for a bed.

Everyone lives with us. Possibly because we are the only sane relatives they know. We're up to seven people now who have stayed with us for weeks, months or years at a time. Currently, we have the mentally ill relative and then a younger relative relocating to launch a career and go to grad school. All in 1000 square feet.

Any time I seem high strung, just remember how I live in a very small nuthouse and still haven't murdered anyone in their sleep because they put away the dishes and I can't find my colander anymore. I think I should get a billion bonus points for that.

By the way, my favorite spatula has been missing for over a year. I'm not pointing any fingers, just saying, if you don't know where shit goes, it's not helping to shove things into random cupboards.

So, yeah, not feeling great, missing a spatula and tired, yet apprehensive about taking steroids.