Monday, October 4, 2010

The Violence of Positive Thinking

A few nights ago, I was having a hard time sleeping. Between the insomnia and the angst of 'what do I do next' I just couldn't unwind.

So I tried some happy thoughts.

Like a good little hippie.

I visualized my adrenals and imagined gently coaxing them to work.

I thought about my pituitary.

Somehow, in the midst of all the mental rainbows and unicorns, a sledgehammer appeared.

And started smacking the sh*t out of my pituitary.

Then I was kicking it.

And stomping.

While screaming 'Get up you m----f----! Get up!'

My shoes had razors in the tips.

There was a WWF style take down, complete with elbow to the solar plexus.

It was like a pituitary snuff film.

I had to pull the plug. It was getting too violent and I started worrying if any of this 'positive thinking' stuff actually works, that I was scaring my pituitary to death.

It's probably planning to ooze through my nose and run screaming for the local Domestic Violence shelter the first chance it gets.

I guess you could say I'm kind of pissed about this adrenal suppression.

I just want my body to work.

1 comment:

  1. You made me laugh hysterically about adrenal suppression. I feel the same way!!! It is so great to have found your blog. This is the first time I've laughed in months. .. About to try traveling (driving) but scared I'll have health issues en route



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