The Violence of Positive Thinking

A few nights ago, I was having a hard time sleeping. Between the insomnia and the angst of 'what do I do next' I just couldn't unwind.

So I tried some happy thoughts.

Like a good little hippie.

I visualized my adrenals and imagined gently coaxing them to work.

I thought about my pituitary.

Somehow, in the midst of all the mental rainbows and unicorns, a sledgehammer appeared.

And started smacking the sh*t out of my pituitary.

Then I was kicking it.

And stomping.

While screaming 'Get up you m----f----! Get up!'

My shoes had razors in the tips.

There was a WWF style take down, complete with elbow to the solar plexus.

It was like a pituitary snuff film.

I had to pull the plug. It was getting too violent and I started worrying if any of this 'positive thinking' stuff actually works, that I was scaring my pituitary to death.

It's probably planning to ooze through my nose and run screaming for the local Domestic Violence shelter the first chance it gets.

I guess you could say I'm kind of pissed about this adrenal suppression.

I just want my body to work.