I Just Can't Catch a Breath Here

:(
Can you sprain a lung? Is that possible? I think I did something to the left lung. It hurts to breath, especially on that side. Like I'm raking my lungs over shards of glass with each breath.

The biggest problem is the pain followed by the feeling that I'm just on that edge of a big spasm.

But my peak flow is fine. What they call 'good air movement' in the med biz.

I tried to take a nap but since the toddler wasn't napping and with the pain, I couldn't sleep.

I've been taking my albuterol since yesterday, maybe 10 times in 2 days. That's a lot for me.

After the no nap, I caved and took 10 more mg of prednisone. At the time, I questioned myself. I mean, I could breathe, just look at my peak flow, it only felt like I couldn't. Apparently, if the small airways are shot but the big ones aren't, the peak flow can be inaccurate.

So I'm not that sick.

On paper.

In real life, this is bad. I'm very short of breath on activity and have I mentioned the pain? Or the spasms in the muscles of my rib cage?

As much as I second guessed myself on the prednisone, I am thanking all that is holy that I took it. Why?

Well, I had my first student of the year.

Unfortunately, their assessment of the home environment was not entirely accurate.

They do too smoke in the house. Right in front of me in fact.

They do too have a cat.

None of this was disclosed on the intake forms.

The only reason I didn't turn heel and leave is they stopped smoking and I didn't know about the cat until the end (although I kind of wondered when I spotted the cat nip toys).

I informed the family I wouldn't be their tutor, but they said they would meet at the library if that meant keeping me.

Sigh. Don't get me wrong, I like being liked. I think I'm a decent tutor BUT showing up is half the game and a lot of these families struggle with attendance. I hope they are as motivated as they say they are.

Meanwhile, I'll be giving the nebulizer a blow job. If I had not taken more prednisone, it would've easily been ER time.

This is where I begin to feel disabled, like I've been put on hold against my will. It doesn't matter what my intent or desire is, it's beyond my control. I can't even work without accommodations and if people don't properly disclose things, I get screwed. Sooooo frustrating.