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I am tired today. Had a nice weekend. Worked out twice. Once on the elliptical, then went for a lovely walk. Saw lots of deer and deer babies up close and personal. Then my blood sugar crashed and I dragged myself around the rest of the weekend managing to get the groceries bought and keep the toddler entertained.

A hard core X-rated makeout session with some butter toffee helped. (Turns out grocery shopping + low blood sugar = toffee in the grocery cart.)

Today it was hard to get out of bed and get up. I'm still not feeling awake and it's almost 1pm. It could just be a toffee hangover.

I will go early to the endo appt later this week and get an am cortisol draw just to be safe ( I think I mentioned this, no?). Hopefully this is just a natural adjustment period after having been on steroids for so long.

I do recall that ending the steroids during past HPA axis suppressions did not necessarily correlate with feeling 100%. It took about a year the last time for me to feel human again.

Saw the PCP today and had some blood work (testing liver and ruling out h.pylori). We are scheduling a HIDA scan and I will be seeing a GI doc. Which I should have done much sooner, but it is very difficult to properly care for such a malfunctioning body. I feel like I'm trying to plug holes in the dam wall and I've run out of fingers.

You can only go to the doctor so much, you know? I can't keep up with all that needs to be done. I think if I did everything I was supposed to, I could probably see doctors continuously which...ugh not the lifestyle I'm going for.

My sincere hope is to be free of all but the most basic medical maintenance, but I fear I will never know what it is to live without some kind of medical constraint again.