Primal Hunger Takeover

Adrenal Update: So, as I posted yesterday, things began to decompensate. Once I could leave the bathroom, I went to bed, turning the mattress heating pad on high as I was cold and could not get warm. The whole thing was very similar to the crisis but at about 40% power--no shaking, no vomiting, not the same intensity in the stomach pain.

Rest seems to have allowed my body to get ahead of the problem. I am trying not to take steroids as I want do an am cortisol draw to establish what is happening, but the endo has been so slow to get back to me, this may not be safe.

Will update more tomorrow. On to today's post...

The other day, I made some rice. A large bowl.

The next thing I knew, my body was dumping in a week's worth of butter servings and shoveling it down my gullet before I could say no.

Seriously, body? We're going to make up the calorie deficit with rice and butter?

What am I? Gluten free in prison?

What happened to cheesecake?

Or pizza?

French fries?

I'm all for carb loading given how little I've eaten lately, but plain rice? RICE!?!

Come on. I want to enjoy it at least. Just give me a few minutes and I can get us something better.

But my body basically looked at me like a feral animal and said 'Lucky for your dogs you made some rice.'

Oh.

OH.

*blink*

Meanwhile, the spoon never stopped shoveling.

When hubby came home, I said, "I made rice to go with dinner."

"What rice? There's not enough."

"No, there's a cup there. You need more?"

"There's not enough." He showed me the bowl and indeed, other than a meager spoonful, the rice was gone.

"Oh. Sorry. You can make more."

"You ate the entire bowl?"

"With a stick of butter." I gave a weak smile.

"And your pants still fit?"

"Actually, I'm still hungry."

So I had a pint of Ben & Jerry's Karamel Sutra. Because who the hell binges on rice?

I have my pride you know.

And no, no weight gain but no loss either. My appetite disappeared the next day again so...???