Asshole Patients Aren't Born, They Are Made by Medical Care

I finally got a hold of someone at the big GI clinic and they promptly told me I had to see a primary care physician and get a referral.

And I lost it.

I'd been calling this place for three days. They said in their message they would call back in 24 hours and they never did.

And now I had to see a primary doctor when my insurance doesn't even require a referral?

Fuck that shit. (Fair warning, I will probably swear a lot from here on out, shield your delicate sensibilities.)

I got really bitchy and super snarky.

"Gee, I hope there's nothing serious happening with my pancreas. I have active abdominal pain and a CT scan showing something on my pancreas and you want me to let that fester for the 60 days it's going to take for me to go through your primary care to get to the GI clinic. That's just awesome. Is this really the amazing world class medical care mentioned in all your commercials or is that just false advertising?"

I felt kind of bad as I went off on the lady, but I'd spent a fucking week at this point dealing with this stupidity. No one I spoke to all week had a fucking brain in their head.

Luckily, me being aggressive turned out to be a good thing because guess what? I didn't have to see a primary care doc in their system to go to the GI clinic. They were wrong and if I'd been nice, I would've been screwed by this chick and her ignorance.

I still didn't get an appointment though. I'm on some kind of urgent waiting list.

And I somehow missed a call from the other GI doctor. They didn't leave a message, but why do I have the sinking feeling the one appointment I managed to get on the books is about to be canceled?

Anyway, I've decided there's just no reward for being nice or professional. From here on out I'm unleashing my inner bitch. I will complain louder. I will throw fits. If people don't call me back, I'm going to their office to leave a message in person. I've had it. Being nasty seems to be the only thing that yields any results.

Sad but true.