The Dr. Vicodin Story

Right after the bullying Jesus Freak doctor, I landed at the office of Dr. Vicodin. They seemed competent enough. Zeroing in on a PCOS diagnosis on our first meeting and dashing off a referral to a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) without batting an eye (or cracking open a bible or drawing a picture for me of Jesus on the cross).

Quite refreshing.

And then things got weird.

The set up goes like this....

My first (and last) IUI cycle resulted in a pelvic infection. (IUI = turkey baster method of getting pregnant). This happens about 1% of the time (and once again I won the wrong kind of lottery!).

The pelvic infection drove me to the ER first. The pain was such that I promised God if She just let me out of the bathroom I would go to the ER. Also, it was Sunday which limited my medical care options.

The ER missed the infection. My fever was 101 but copious amounts of Advil masked it quite well and I guess my blood work was fine.

Well, the ER doc was quite sympathetic and asked me what I wanted for pain at home.

I requested prescription ibuprofen.

But they pressured me to take a prescription for Vicodin as they didn't think Ibuprofen would be enough for the pain.

I told them I didn't want Vicodin. I'd had it once before due to a root canal and thought it was useless.

So they offered me a compromise of a Vicodin/Advil combo pill for the pain.

Since I was doped up to the point of being unable to walk, I thought that was a swell idea.

What wasn't so swell was waking up in the middle of the night believing:

1. I was dead.

2. The left side of my body had dissolved.

3. There were tentacles bursting out of my stomach.

4.I was glowing in the dark.

5.I was having a heart attack, complete with pain radiating down my arm.

After a useless visit with the RE the next day, who didn't have the right antibiotic injection on hand to treat the complication of their care (seriously? and they wonder why I never went back!), I ended up at Dr. Vicodin's office due to the heart attack symptoms the antibiotics the RE prescribed caused.

They hooked me up with an antibiotic shot in the ass and a prescription for different antibiotics as the one I'd been given was the source of the heart attack symptoms. When I asked them how I should dispose of the Vicodin, they quietly palmed my bottle of narcotics, tucked it in their pocket and said they would give it to patients who couldn't afford their medications.

Then they told me some disjointed story about a 13 year-old patient who was pregnant and just acted weird in general. Too much information about other people, you know?

The whole thing seemed off to me at the time, but I didn't know what, if anything, I should've done about it.

The next time I tried to make an appointment, I was informed the doctor had moved out of state. My one doctor friend tells me this happens sometimes with docs who behave badly as a way to keep their license??? I assume Dr. Vicodin had a bit of narcotic issue as my doc friend also told me what they did was very much not kosher.

And that's the story of the doctor who took my Vicodin and ran.