Feeling Fine

Saturday I sent the following text to my hubby:

"Asthma is not controlled, peak flow dropped, lots of congestion and I stopped steroids this morning. Otherwise, everything is fine."

Oh hey, that's the solution to all my troubles! I just need a new definition of fine!

And then I asked him to bring home a Coke Zero from the gas station.

Because when you're feeling so damn fine, you need to drink something bad for you. Just in case it can make you feel 'finer'.

I've had a social conundrum come up. Smoking is the theme.

First there was the neighbor's birthday party where the entire family smoked like chimneys. I was probably the only non-smoker and asthmatic. I quickly bowed out of that one with an awkward 'oh hey, I have asthma and I can't breathe this air unless I want an ER visit' explanation to the rather shocked hostess. I spent the next 4-5 hours fighting an acute asthma attack from just passing exposure. My lungs were pretty sensitive that time as I was sick with the bug o' doom.

Then there was another birthday party, the magician one. Well, there were a few guests who felt that since, we were outside and on a patio, they could light up. I left before I killed them with my death glare. Thankfully, that party was more open air and the exposure didn't cause any problems for me.

Now I have an invitation to a 'Mom's night out' party and it's got a fun theme. I want to go, but I'm afraid of the smoking. Which means I have to call the hostess and either:

A) Lie about why I can't go and not go. At least I'll have my dignity with this one. But it doesn't really make me friends because I never go to anything!

B) Explain how I'm this hypochondriac nut job (as I think they see me) and they need to worry about my health and possibly confront some guests about not smoking, which policing party guests is the reason everyone opens their homes, right?

C) Say nothing, go to the party and leave abruptly when the smoking starts which makes me look like I'm socially maladjusted. "She seemed nice, but then she ran out of here like something was on fire. I don't know what happened? Do we smell or something?"

D) The party is on my actual birthday and I probably can't/shouldn't go anyway (see option A). Because, you know, birthday cake obligations. Isn't it a misdemeanor to mess with the birthday cake schedule?

So what option would you go with?