I Had a Good Run

 Welp. Covid positive. I managed to avoid it for 2+ years, but my luck ran out.

Hubby gave it to me. 

His masking isn't always great. He's been at work this whole time, and now that everyone's vaccinated, he's been getting cocky. I've talked to him about it, but the reality is the masks are uncomfortable and people are tired, even smart people who should know better. And his coworkers are a bunch of anti-vax Trump nuts so the peer pressure is intense.

Asi es la vida. C'est la vie. You can run from a pandemic, but you can't hide.

I did the best I could.

Kiddo is getting sick now too.

So of course, I start making calls trying to get an antiviral. Primary says they can only prescribe Molnupiravir, but doesn't like it, so won't order it. I mean, I read the medical literature so I get the concern with Molnupiravir but I'M HIGH RISK. Don't leave me high and dry. 

Since I'm not an idiot, I know better than to assume one doctor will help me. You have to work all the angles to keep medicine from killing ya. I called everyone who is supposed to care if I keep breathing. I have messages into the pulmonologist and looped into the FDA test-to-treat program with a CVS clinic, which was an absolute mess by the way ( more on that in a second).

I'm already on prednisone and very short of breath. I can barely talk, so the phone calls begging for medication are extra fun.

You can always count on medicine to force you to run a marathon when you're deathly ill. God forbid anyone help you.

The CVS Minute Clinic was an absolute disaster. The first red flag was the tech (or nurse, not sure which) struggled to read the phonetic uncomplicated names of my medications and had me spell all my diagnoses. I've worked with illiterate adults and I noticed it because it reminded me a lot of the folks I've helped learn to read. My employer once hired an illiterate admin who was commendably slick at covering the fact they couldn't read. As their assigned manager, I had the fun of working with HR on what to do about it. So my pattern recognition got pinged. It was...odd.

But surely it was just a one off. A bad moment. Sometimes people can't spell. 

Maybe.

But it was a harbinger of more fuckery to come.

The tech then flatly told me I wasn't going to get anything from the care providers before the provider even saw me and said a bunch of bizarre shit that made no sense and went against all the protocols for antivirals. 

I was very confused, and when I asked questions trying to clarify all her adamant finger wagging declarations, she got mad. She walked out of the room in a huff, running off like a good little mean girl to trash me to the care provider.

That was fun. Always a delightful experience dealing with power tripping psychos when you're sick. 

The provider did, in fact, prescribe Molnupiravir as I do, in fact, have Covid, and I do, in fact, meet the motherflucking criteria. I made it clear that their tech (or nurse, again not sure which) was insane in the hopes they would be able to address it. Because it was beyond inappropriate.

I think what she wanted to say was that the antivirals aren't safe to use in some cases and that not everyone qualifies and I would have to be evaluated to see if they were an option for me, so just be aware there's no guarantee. 

That would have been fine. 

Instead I got a bunch of weirdness beyond her scope. 'Your specialist should prescribe this, not us, the providers here won't give it to you, we don't have to treat anything, you don't qualify, you can't take this with your medical history, you're just here for the test, we're not giving any meds.' 

From. A. Med. Tech. Slash. Maybe. A. Nurse.

Who. Can't. Read. Fluently.

It was just unprofessional. I was so confused and any attempt I made to clarify what the fuck was going on just made her more aggressive. I didn't register that she was likely nuts until well after the whole thing went down. Classic case of hindsight is 20/20. I'm not quick right now. I'm tired and my breathing sucks. It was dumb to let her suck me into her dysfunction, but I'm not 100%. 

Anyway, if I never post again, I probably died. It was nice knowing ya. 

Ha. As I was writing this, primary called me back. They seem to be reconsidering.  For whatever reason, they're more concerned now. I sound absolutely terrible (it reminds me of the time my throat tried to swell shut with strep, I'm barely audible) and I emphasized all my medical fuckery as best I could on the last call, so maybe the nurse said something persuasive. I don't know.

They don't like the Molnupiravir and I get it, but like, rock meet hard place. What am I supposed to do? End up in the hospital? Is that a better outcome? I can wait a bit to take it, see if I turn the corner on my own. All my options are kind of sucky here.  

At least I have the Molnupiravir now, which was stage one of this quest. Now stage two. Do I take it or not? I don't know. I'm on day 3 of prednisone and can't tell if I'm turning the corner so... I don't know.

I'm properly spooked by all the hassle, though. I've lost trust. I no longer have faith.

Aaaand ha #2...apparently a report came out today saying an expert panel ruled that Molnupiravir doesn't even work.  Which we all kind of already know, right? It's only about 30% effective to begin with. But I guess all that drama trauma is probably for nothing even more so than it was before. Sigh.

 Maybe pulmo will get back to me and have some ideas. I'm hearing from other patients that sometimes their specialists are still having them take Paxlovid even if it's contraindicated due to drug interactions.

The irony with Paxlovid is I'm told it can cause adrenal suppression when steroids are on board, which is why it's contraindicated for me. But if I end up on steroids for weeks and weeks because this spins out of control, I'll probably suppress anyways. Like, I don't have a win here. I'm just sort of doomed.

I can only hope it all ends well on its own. The only outcome I can't directly influence. It's up to my bizarro pile o' cells.

I'm just trying to be proactive, you know? I wish it wasn't such a gauntlet. This isn't turnkey. I've got med techs/nurses insisting they don't have to follow any protocols on this. Primary who doesn't feel the antivirals are safe. Specialists who aren't calling me back. I'm sick and somehow supposed to make sense of all this on my own.

Am I doing rare disease and high risk wrong somehow? I don't understand why I'm so out in the cold on this.