No Answers, Only Time and Suspicion

Can't sleep. 

I'm pretty sure I know at least one thing genetic testing will show. I've discovered I probably actually have macrocephaly. I got curious and read up on things and then measured thinking surely I don't. Welp. It seems like I do. I'm somehow perfectly proportional so it doesn't stand out. 

Not even the geneticist measured, although they did ask. I, of course, said no lol. Welp. I think I was wrong.

I found this right before bed and my brain has been chewing on it ever since. So no sleep.

I'm trying not to get ahead of myself and give the testing time, but there's so much obvious alignment with a particular thing--the moles, the growths, the tumors, the family history--it's difficult to be patient. 

I also found the pre-eminent geneticist for what I think this is and I can see them. So that's a possibility. I like all my current specialists, we have good working relationships, and I actually have a competent primary for once. I am loathe to leave them, but I might have to.

I am still properly terrified of my liver transplant surgeon. If more liver surgery is in the cards, I am going to need to force myself out of my comfort zone anyway. I don't think I should work with them again. 

One thing I notice on the surgery front, I had a laproscopic hepatic resection and I had way more pain than any of the other patients I talk to, including open resections. Maybe it's just my body, but between the sociopathic God Complex and the We Are VIPs Dude Bro Squad masquerading as residents, I'm guessing I was a surgical guinea pig. 

And no, I don't want to believe the bad things I think, but I also know I need to listen to my gut. I might be wrong in my conclusions, but the worry and instinctive aversion to this guy isn't coming from nothing. 

I only ever get bitten by the snakes when I convince myself I'm being silly and that they're just friendly caterpillars.

Anyhoo...on deck right now, trying to figure out what testing is needed to reveal if what's going on is what I think it is. Will the first round of testing catch it or will I need the exosome whatsit stuff?

In real life...we are preparing to host our annual Mother's Day bash. I hate crowds and Mother's Day is the worst, so clearly the answer is to cram a bunch of people into my house lol. At least we all know each other. I've been surprised that this has caught on. I guess I'm not the only one who dreads the hordes of Mother's Day.

Kiddo has been awarded her college credits from the state for dual enrollment. We are trying very hard to keep her moving forward despite her health issues. She has a part-time summer camp as well, her last because after this year she'll be too old (ah what happened to my baby? sob). And we've got her earning a little bit of money mowing a neighbor's lawn (on the riding mower, so very low impact). It's tricky because we don't want to push her too hard, but we don't want to not push her at all. She's also learning to knit from the local knitting guild.

Hubby and I are continuing with our dance lessons. We are making some progress and are discussing learning more styles...maybe tango a la True Lies for the Boomers and GenXers out there. We are looking at doing a big dance bash next year as we both have milestone birthdays in 2023. We'll see. 

I'm working on setting up a small orchard on our property. I love the physical activity, although these days other people have to do the heavy lifting for me. The downside is, I am not the best gardener. Nor am I the worst. I'm just okay. A lot of things die. But at least that makes it exciting when I actually harvest anything. 

Right now I'm watching my asparagus come up and trying to figure out how many of the plants are going to produce and how many have mysteriously gone to Glory. That and who's eating the leaves off my blueberry bushes. Scintillating garden CSI over here. 

On the business side...I still write but I've not published anything new in a while. I have another business set up that's doubling this year and I'm hoping to drive it to six figures in the next 1-2 years. Then I have a new passive revenue stream I'm trying to set up as well, but I have to learn Wix, which you think would be easy but I'm all thumbs at it. Ergo, I've been procrastinating terribly on it.