Three for One

As of today I am undergoing...

Sugar withdrawal aka cherry pie withdrawal (it's big in Michigan).

Caffeine withdrawal aka Coke Zero withdrawal (again).

Progesterone withdrawal.

Wheeee! Isn't this fun?

We went to the grocery store and the woozies hit me like a tsunami of stupid. The hubby found me putting tea in the cart and taking it back out over and over again. When he asked me what I was doing, I could only look at him blankly. He gave me the car keys with instructions to "go sit in the car"

Only I couldn't find the car.

So I went back into the store and stood in the checkout line with him, giggling maniacally.

Because I had this movie going in my head of me taking off my clothes and streaking through the grocery store. When the cops arrested me I would blame the complete and total lack of drugs.

Oh yeah, completely unhinged over here.

I kept my clothes on (cellulite came in handy for once) and went home to crash into bed instead. I didn't sleep though, my head is screwed on too weird for that.

Now I'm drinking Green Ass-ade.

That's when you buy a juicer off Craig's List and concoct things to drink. Like lemonade with ginger and Romaine lettuce.

You would think that the sourness of the lemon and the zip of the ginger tempered with the sweetness of Stevia would overcome the flavor of Romaine juice.

You would be wrong.

Ass-ade people. And not just any ass-ade, it's green, yo.

Yo, yo, yo.

I think I'm still tripping a bit. I have no idea why. I am not on anything!

Anyway, I thought I could maybe do something useful with juicing. I make a mean blueberry spinach smoothie (hint: add cinnamon and stevia). I've made a primitive juice with a blender, straining the liquid form a spinach, apples, stevia and ginger puree. It was delicious.

I thought I was ready for this juicing thing. I wanted to 'flood my cells with nutrients.'

And what do I get? Green ass-ade.

Turns out my original opinion was right: The reason why juice recipes are 99% fruit and 1% vegetables is because veggies don't taste better in liquid form, they taste worse.

Much much worse.

Anaphylaxing asked me on my last post:

"Hang in there. I'd be interested to know in the low progesterone symptoms vs AI symptoms or are they the same for you?

What's your current view for steroids?"

Progesterone and AI symptoms are pretty much the same in terms of fatigue with weakness. My unedumacated theory is that I didn't have enough substrate to make what I needed and taking progesterone improves that situation. However, I can still outpace my stress response as last week's biking episode showed, so I would imagine I still have to be careful with illness and exercise--no extremes is probably best for me. Overall, progesterone is a HUGE improvement. I think it will eventually give me my life back.

And believe it or not, there are a lot of people who get 'sick' after exercise. Some of them have AI. Some of them fall under chronic fatigue syndrome or celiac's disease. I am actually not alone. Also not the only one who finds that vitamins turn things around.

As for steroids, haven't been on any since late May/early June. Haven't needed them. The bike incident was the closest I've come to it. Although I haven't been pushing exercise like I have in the past, I've been focusing more on the demands of daily life.

I can't and won't rule steroids out until I've gone a year without them. I can always get a few good weeks or months here and there. I need more time to pass before I declare the cycle broken. Way too soon to claim a victory.

Like a Double Jointed Duck

I had my first yoga class.

Understand that I know nothing about yoga.

Well, I do know Sting likes to mix sex and tantric yoga. Because he talks about it in interviews and we've seen him in concert.

Everything (else) I learned came from P90X's interpretation of yoga.

Which is intense enough I've been 'practicing' for my yoga class for fear of not keeping up.

I've done the downward facing dog pose as if my life depended on it, shoving my ass into the air like a double jointed duck trying to develop some semblance of yoga skillz.

So the day comes and basically we laid on the floor for an hour and half. In the dark. I couldn't really see anyone so who knows what yoga--tantric or otherwise--was going on?

There was not one downward facing dog. I felt gypped. I'd done all this self-assigned homework for nothing!

Now, I realize that it's a mistake to think you know anything about anything from watching P90X. Their yoga? Is on steroids and has a bad case of 'roid rage to boot.

My yoga? Is a lot of breathing in the dark with some gentle movements that I may or may not be performing correctly. I'm not even sure the instructor can see me!

As for everything else: Still kind of tired. I have those good days and think 'I'm free!' I'm not free, but I'm not in prison either. I'm in a seedy halfway house.

Still lots of muscle pain, which yoga highlighted nicely. Things are just really inflamed and I'm not sure why. Drinking lots of 'gingerade' (ginger, lemon, stevia, water and ice--delicious and anti-inflammatory) to try and feel better. Also Advil. And Tylenol. It's similar to steroid withdrawal muscle pain but I haven't had any steroids in a while.

Went for a 2.5 mile walk. It was painful, but I did it.

Waiting to start bioidentical hormone replacement for low progesterone. My level is below normal so I'm really hoping bringing that back into balance will help me.