Adult Protective Bullshit

My foot is still an asshole but it's slowly reverting back to its usual baseline of dysfunction...which is an improvement at this point. That'll teach me to go out and try to have fun, right?

However, while my body seems to have settled down somewhat, this is me we're talking about so as one thing stabilizes, another hitter in the line up comes in aiming for a homerun of fuckery. And at this era of my life, it's not always my health shit that's the problem. Other people's health shit wants to take a swing too.

My addict parent and stepparent are at the plate now.

I woke up to an email from the family reporting that my parent's spouse--who is also an addict but with Alzheimer's as well (but note, not end stage)--is now apparently 75 lbs. My parent, between aging and addiction, isn't able to organize the executive function that would ensure adequate intake.

There is already an active case with Adult Protective Services, but somehow nothing is happening.

Knowing 75lbs is not compatible with life, I tracked down the APS caseworker to make sure they were aware of this.

And holy shit, the amount of toxic gaslighting I got from them was horrifying.

First, I'd like to note that no one answered the phone initially. It took three phone calls to get someone. Because no one answers the phone anymore.

Second, I had the most bizarre conversation with this person. Holy flaming bull poo. They deflected everything. Defended my parent. And blew me off. Zero interest in investigating this.

And to be clear, I've never called APS before. The open case isn't because of me. This isn't a situation of one person with a potentially biased narrative. Oh no. There are lots of calls from several people. But I was treated as if I had ulterior motives.

So anyway, APS looks to be complicit with starving my stepparent to death. 

Apparently this is normal for APS. Which I didn't know until it slapped me in the face.

There is a lawyer in the mix and the person with the lawyer is going to try APS next, so hopefully that'll accomplish something. We're working together behind-the-scenes doing what we can.

But the bar for guardianship is ridiculously high given my current experience with APS. My parent and stepparent are literally going to be allowed to kill themselves. It's so sad. They weren't always like this.

And someone texted me a 'how are you' social thing in the middle of all this, and I was just deer-in-headlights trying to think of a socially appropriate response that ignores the gravitas of learning the government is tots coolio with my parent starving my stepparent to death.

What the fuck? That's how I am. Just what the fuck?

Not to get too dark, but honestly, if this is aging...I'm fine with not living that long. It's a nightmare. Your brain decays. Your worst self is in the driver's seat. Yeesh. Just let me go out in a blaze of glory without dragging my family through absolute hell because aging has melted my cognition.

And if you've got kids and you want them to visit you, resolve right now to not be a burden and get your ass into assisted living or senior apartments linked to assisted living LONG before your brain melts and you become a giant flaming asshole about it. 

Yes. Only the good die young.