Thursday, May 17, 2012

The Latest Flavor

The antibiotic is working. The drug-induced diarrhea is brewing. And I firmly believe I stayed out of the ER and hospital because of all the alternative woo-woo stuff.

Even if it does all taste like sun-dried bull testicles with a delicate and flavorful cat vomit crust.

The clinic had some 'bars' for sale that included greens powder.

"Have you tried these?" I asked, wondering if it was indeed possible to make greens powder palatable.

"Oh yeah, they're great."

"Which one would you recommend?"

"The lemon is really lemony, but good. I like this other one best."

So I selected the bar the staff said they liked.


It tasted like ass.

I didn't even chew it, just spit it back out.

To date, there is no known way to make this stuff not taste like ass.

The search continues.

(I really question whether the people who make this stuff even like food or if they've ever had any good food, like ever?)

Of course, my daughter, the sugar fiend, spotted the bar when I got home and begged daddy to "split it with me please, please, please." My husband had some inkling that the bar was not going to be great, but gave it to her anyway.

Predictably, she hated it.

It was rather comical watching her expression change as she realized she had not scored a free cookie, but rather something that tasted like ass. She spit it out right quick.

I was also given some licorice syrup on Tuesday. They set the ginormous bottle on the counter and my eyes went wide as I murmured "And how bad is this going to taste?"

For the record, better than greens powder, but still not great. No wonder they make candy with it, you need a ton of sugar to make it go down.

For those who don't know, licorice has some impact on adrenal function (and causes circulatory issues which I suspect I'll be vulnerable to, but we'll deal with that when it happens). I am interested to see how well it works for me.

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