Babbler

I've finally become aware that I talk too much when I'm nervous/anxious or in extreme pain.

Oh. I'm so embarrassed.

This last ER visit, the pain was so extreme, I couldn't shut up. I think I told everyone my bank password and social security number and god knows what else. Probably my sexual history or something equally embarassing.

The pain was just so bad, morphine was pointless (or the dose was too low, I don't know) and talking helped distract me so words just poured out. That was the first time it happened due to pain. Mostly I'm fairly stoic, but lately my body has found ways to break me.

I haven't been in that kind of pain before (although I still maintain a broken elbow is worse. At least with my GI stuff, if I just don't move, I can find a pain equilibrium. I didn't babble with the elbow, but I did scream through the xrays. That was embarrassing too. Sigh.).

And I'm a story teller who likes to follow an interesting thought and enjoys funky word choices. Add in anxiety...

Oh. It's terrible.

So that's how I was with the liver surgeon, a terrified babbler. It did not go over well. I finally hit the wall on my lucky streak full of great doctors.

I don't want to have surgery. I really don't. I can't do nothing either, though.

All my choices suck. I don't want any of them.

You go have liver surgery. How about that? You do it. Let me know how it goes.