Cramming

I have a surgery date and I'm trying to get all my loose ends neatly tied. By which I mean, I am paralyzed by anxiety.

It's not even an overt anxiety, just a low level, enough to keep me from being productive anxiety.

The kiddo and I got a hair cut. I managed to do that. Kiddo has hair that snarls like a pride of lions and it needed to go so there's no tween hair drama while I'm recovering. (We've had quite a bit of it recently.) Also, I heard my hair is going to fall out from surgery, so I thought going short would just make everything easier.

I am also waiting to hear what my latest TSH was because I got the classic 'you lost plugs of hair in the sink' from the hairdresser. (The blood work went in last week, but no results have hit my phone.)

I had a great appointment with a new PCP. My OB has been very helpful with referrals and getting me in with good people.

The adrenal adenoma has been hurting (I assume). I don't know why. But I have so many tumors that I can't get to them all. It'll have to behave itself and wait.

I did a half a day at the hospital doing all the pre-surgery stuff. Came home and konked after that. I don't know if that lack of energy is the liver or what. I'm over the fatigue though. It's atypical and frustrating for me to pass out like that.

I'm trying to wrap up a few classes I'm teaching, work, Christmas and everything else. It's a lot and I need to get it done fast. But mostly I just think about it and struggle to get to the doing part. Ugh.

Homeschooling is mostly squared away through March. I've set up a lot of a la carte online classes* so it doesn't depend much on me, and we've been so productive so far this year that we should be okay. My kiddo enjoys learning and usually has a good work ethic (I mean, she's a tween so...there are days. Oh honey, there are days for miles).

She should motor on while I'm passed out on the couch after surgery. If not, I imagine my ability to nag and take away privileges will recover within a few days.

I'm sure I'm missing something. Or many somethings. Ack. But I'm trying to go into this organized.

*If you were curious, because I know homeschooling is basically kid voodoo for a lot of people, her classes are...

1. A secular science history class that she loves. This will be her second quarter with this teacher (PhD in education) who has been fabulous.

2. A class with a former UN Human Rights lawyer discussing world leaders across history and evaluating their leadership. (I'm trying to find things where she has to formulate an opinion and support it. This seems perfect.)

3. A debate class with a teacher how has a Masters of Education. (We have been working hard on logic and this is the next step. Also: OMG I'm teaching my kid how to argue with me and win. Urp!)

4. A short genetics class about the blue people of Kentucky with yet another Masters of Education teacher. When I asked if she was interested in this one, she shrieked "OMG I love genetics, mommy." (The volume level was that of an overjoyed banshee. See also: Why I'm going deaf.) She discovered genetics at the Chicago Museum of Science and Industry on our vacation last summer. So point for offering a broad variety of experiences to kids so they can find their passions.

5. Math is mostly online with us checking her work and monitoring her progress.

6. Vocabulary workbook which I can review whenever.

7. ELA is mostly covered by 1, 2, 3 and 6, but she loves to read so there will be huge amounts reading. I stock her one shelf with an educational assortment on a wide variety of topics. This week she read TS Eliot poems and one of my corporate books on doing business in China, which cracks me up. I knew she'd like it lol. (We've previously done a novel study and fiction writing. More writing and novels studies will come later.)

7. Band class...assuming I can drive or find someone to take her.

8. She'll be wrapping up a months long theater workshop, again assuming I can get her there. Performance is in January.

If I can digress for a moment, more than I already have, I'm glad we chose a different path. I joined a bunch of teacher Facebook groups because I was told that would be a great way to find resources aaaaaand there are a hell of a lot of teachers milling around bleating 'tell me how to do this'.

It's been a bit disconcerting to see the mass helplessness. And then there are the teachers who have really punitive, easy to weaponize kids against kids discipline policies that are celebrated as 'fantastic' by most of the comments (not all, but most). And yes some teachers love their kids, which is great, I just wish they weren't quite so 'tell meeeee what doooo because I don't knoooooow.' It's been kind of WTF.

We still work with teachers as homeschoolers (as you can see above) but we find the ones who have their shit worked out and know what the hell they are doing.