Fire Alarms with Anesthesia

No polyps! 

None.

Zero.

The ONE place my body isn't growing anything.

Which is a little weird, but...Hallelujah!

This makes the pancreatic stuff less of a cluster.

(And while the prep was hard on my electrolytes and unpleasant, it didn't hurt. My previous experiences were painful for some reason.)

Meanwhile, the person who was supposed to pick the teen up from her in-person class decided I'd never asked them to do that and didn't show. 

Sigh. Old people who have memory issues, but who aren't fully senile nor ready nor able to know that about themselves are tricky.

And for the record, I asked hubby to send a reminder, but he decided I was over functioning and didn't do it.

Y'all.

Sometimes I cannot. I just cannot with this universe.

I mean. Can I over function? Yes. Am I detail oriented? Yes. But this shit is WHY. Try to keep up.

Anyway, we got the teen sorted. Then her second college class started and everything went to hell.

First, her laptop power cord started smoking. Thankfully we were right there and immediately unplugged it before a fire could start.

Phew.

Then, the fire alarms went off in the middle of class. And not because of the laptop.

We were the only ones home. Teen is panicking because she's mid class with the world's most uptight 'you can't miss a single second of class or you'll FAIL' professor and I'm super out of it because of colonoscopy anesthesia.

We both jump up and hop around with a lot of useless OMG OMG freaking out. My brain doesn't want to synapse so I'm no help. Teen is just flat out panicking and can't function. She's pretty sure she's going to have to stay put and die in a fire or else she'll fail her class.

Finally, I manage to grab the emergency dog leashes we keep upstairs as part of our in-case-of-fire preps and I figure out to tell the teen to go to the side porch with her laptop to continue her class. We have no idea what, if anything, is on fire. 

I do not grab the fire blankets. Or the fire extinguisher. Nobody has shoes. I can't find one of the dogs. We're moving very slow. It's just a mess.

And I smell smoke.

For the record, I'm usually very good with fire alarms. I've been in some fires in large venues, so I always take fire safety seriously. I'm the one reminding everyone to grab some shoes and their purse and also making sure everyone treats the alarm as real. But apparently anesthesia breaks that part of my brain. I literally couldn't organize myself or anyone else.

We also have the world's most sensitive and annoying fire alarm system. Old houses burn fast and this house is large enough that a fire could start in one area and by the time we noticed, it could be too late. Ergo, we paid extra for linked fire alarms. If one goes off, they all go off. 

That seemed like a prudent thing to do. Except for the part where we get dozens of free fire drills and can't make it stop. These things go off if you look at them funny. They don't like fog. Or humidity. They can't handle dust. They beep and chirp for no reason, forcing us to constantly check the batteries and hardwiring. We get to run a fun gauntlet called, 'which one of three stories of fire alarms is chirping?' 

There's enough running around that playing smoke alarm Clue could be an Olympic sport.

Fun fact...a friend of ours has this kind of system and has completely disconnected it. They couldn't take it. I can understand why.

Anyway, it turned out someone else's bonfire smoke had billowed into the house (from where, I have no idea) and that tripped the alarms. We shut all the windows and the alarms went silent on their own (no clue how that happened because that's not supposed to be how they work, but whatever).

And the asthma, thankfully, decided not to freak about the smoke.

So all's well that end's well, even though there's always drama somewhere, somehow.

Next up, a well deserved chicken tikki masala feast from our favorite Indian restaurant. I'm SO HUNGRY.  I starved for the colonoscopy because I didn't want any problems with the prep. I ate yogurt and nothing else for a week prior. Maybe I am crazy after all...but either way, I am going to FEAST tonight. 

I think I'm done with super disruptive medical testing for the time being and won't have to stop/start eating like this for a while. I might have a shot at stability on that front...

PS: Teen got 98% on their first college test. Woot!