Next Chekpoint

 The next medical thing is to check in with the Gyn about Chek2. I don't think anything much will happen. I am somewhat interested in having my tubes tied because I know my karma enough to know I would get pregnant during the apocalypse of misogyny that's been unleashed this past year.

Spoiler: Technically infertile, but can't take birth control because tumors, and also sometimes with age you can get some surprise ovulations so...

And then after that, all that's left is the big wait until the next MRI to see what the pancreas is doing.

I am also dithering back and forth a bit about seeking out specialists for the pancreas now vs. later.  We'll see. The tricky part isn't so much the size with this, it's the location. It's not a clear cut okay thing. It's weird.

See also: Hi. I'm me.

Oh! And I did find a patient who had an ablation. If you recall, I had made mention of hoping something like an ablation would be coming down the pipeline and it's actually already happening!! I don't know how widely available it is, but maybe that will pan out for me and I can avoid a pancreatic resection/whipple.

On the mom end...

Teen is doing well with her college courses, but it's been eye opening to see how professors are now. We're doing online classes and the profs are not having any BS. They are quite hostile and passive aggressive. They will let you fail. They won't help you even if their tech is glitching, even if they don't know how to use the tech, and they won't fix shit. You're on your own.

Worse, they have communication policies set up such that you can never have a last minute question or problem and even asking a question 36 hours before an assignment is due won't be tolerated. This means if the teen wants to ask questions and get a response back before the deadline, she has to finish all homework 3 days before it's due which actually only gives her 24 hours to complete assignments. It's ridiculous.

We also have a prof who has no sense of boundaries. They text at all hours of the day and night. Non stop. Somehow all the information for the homework was not shared in class and has been dribbling in via ad hoc messages. 

I also like the part where the place where the teen has to copy/paste her homework erases all the formatting when they're required to have MLA formatting  BUT ALSO there's no information on how to fix it in the software. The prof told them it would eat the formatting and then nothing else. The teen had to figure out on her own to go into the html and hand code the format. And it's not a computer class.

Basically if college was a job, the teen would quit. The bosses all suck.

For contrast, we've done online classes for five years as part of our homeschooling and never run into this level of chaos. Teachers were organized. Instructions were clear. You weren't penalized for asking questions outside of class. Glitches were managed. But for college? Nothing works. No one's helpful. The professors gatekeep access to them while also messaging you more to-dos every day. 

The teen and I are a bit shellshocked at how dog-eat-dog, sink-or-swim, don't-know-don't-care the vibe is. And how little agency she has. 

Is this from the pandemic? What? I mean. Yes, assholes are the root cause. I get that much. But maybe don't lock it all down so tight and make it so difficult you start undermining the students who aren't assholes, you know?

It's unfortunate. The teen is largely rising to the occasion though and the actual academics are fine. All the problems are structural. 

And she told a bunch of teens at co-op that they were being mean and to stop harassing another kid. Not that the other teens listened, but she gave zero fucks and told them to shove it and I couldn't be more proud. Plus, it looks like zero fucks is de rigueur anymore. Just not everyone uses them wisely...

My three big pieces of advice for the teen...

1. All these sucky people are why I have always told you to focus on authority and credibility. You're going to want the leverage to pull rank as well as to escape asshats. You want to be the expert/top performer in the room and the expert/top performer who can easily find another job. 

Authority and credibility give you control and control is power. Don't flake on this. Otherwise all these annoying people? You're stuck with them. And they'll be your boss instead of the other way around. So if you look around and your cohort is making you shudder...authority and credibility is how you control the crowd you run with as an adult.

2. College is like chess. It requires strategy and planning ahead and sometimes sacrificing pawns to save the King aka your course grade. Leverage policy and procedure to your benefit. Use the syllabus to find leverage. And we don't prioritize a two point homework assignment trapped in a glitch over something worth one hundred points. Ditch the two points and score the hundred. Manage your workload and grades across the semester not against one assignment.

3.Participate in class. Establish yourself as sincere so if you need to make a big move like beg for extra credit, the prof will work with you. Hopefully things aren't so far gone that profs have zero fucks even for students who are actually trying.

PS: I'm both a preacher's and professor's kid. I've been going to lectures since I was two and I used to grade the exams for the 101 classes back when I was in high school. So I know a bit of which I speak. Although, clearly, the energy has become much darker and antagonistic.

PPS: Authority and credibility encompasses education and achievements like publishing in your field/speaking at conferences, as well as social emotional skills. It's been a big theme for us as I know how much the lack of it cost me as I navigated my corporate career (although I did publish and speak on a national level, but I didn't have the specific credentials, and as a woman, that hurt me--insert long story about misogyny and dicky know nothing men here).