Many Funerals and a Wedding

We knew this would be a hard year for our family, but it's one thing to say it, another to live it. Sadly, we have elderly relatives who are starting to pass. We've reached the part of middle age where you start becoming the elderly relatives and for that to happen...well, people have to die and you have to get older.

So we've lost some dear, dear relatives this year. One passed right before we left for the wedding and the other will pass soon. Another has a terminal diagnosis and won't be seeking treatment. Yet another is terminal and is trying treatment (and holding the line thankfully, it's buying us all time).

Meanwhile, the dysfunction among the living is carrying on. I received a text or phone call about my parents every day I was gone for the wedding. Things have gotten bad enough for everyone to start calling. What people can't seem to understand is I have no legal standing to do anything. Neither do my siblings. 

It's fucked up, but my parents are considered competent. They've managed to avoid legal issues with their addiction so there's no record of anything. They are cleaner than bleach on white cotton. On paper, they are perfect. In person, they can pull off a facsimile of competency. You have to dig to see the problems with executive function and the authorities didn't care to dig until more recently.

I heard several variations on: "You need to do something. Just take so and so. Just take them."

To which I replied: "Without a POA, I can't legally take anyone. That's kidnapping."

They are always so surprised by that fun fact.

Again, I encourage them to call APS with their concerns. That's the only path we have.

And then the storm we got caught in made its way across the country to our doorstep where it knocked out power leaving my other parent with no heat. When the power did come back on, the furnace didn't work..so lights but still no heat. And my parent had a foggy episode where they couldn't organize very well and just waltzed off doing whatever, paying zero attention to the fact they needed to be home for the repair guys.

We were literally at the wedding trying to trouble shoot the heat and arrange for a service call. Then calling to try and get a hold of my parent because the repair guy was there. Then calling the repair guy to tell them how to find the hidden key because after fifteen calls to my parent, they still hadn't picked up.

Yeesh.

On a more positive note, the wedding went well. My foot did fantastic. Much better than I could have ever hoped. I took the prednisone I'd been given for my foot, plus lots of Tylenol and Advil and it actually worked! 

My issue was more low stamina and trouble breathing. Having covid a few weeks before meant I was pretty deconditioned and we boogied with n95s on which does introduce an extra drag on breathing when you're panting. We had to take a lot of breaks and we didn't last too long, but the period we danced, we danced more than anyone else there. 

And I held all my spins, which was surprising. People think spins are controlled in the legs, but they aren't. Direction is in the legs. Start and stop is in the legs. A certain amount of momentum is in the legs, but control in and out of the spin, control comes from your core. You need a pretty strong core to not fall over, but somehow I nailed all my spins. It's a bit of a miracle because there was no way I had the core conditioning for that. I must have had some muscle memory going.

I was sore and toddled like a zombie the next two days, but it wasn't terrible. I'd do it again...

One thing I noticed, though--that I didn't expect--is all the music changed. I don't know if it was just this wedding or if it's representative of a generational shift, but it was 80% hip hop 20% standards. No polka. No traditional music from my husband's culture.

I'm sooo not a hip hop dancer. I'm a swing/folk dancer. 

Well, crap. Is this why older folks always sit at weddings? The music has outpaced them and their joints hurt?

I wasn't planning on giving up dancing at weddings (or anywhere else for that matter) but shit. Now I see how it happens.