Hodge Podge

Dr. Oz just endorsed the HCG diet so long as you are under a doctor's supervision.

Interesting.

Personally, having used HCG during infertility treatments, I never found it to have much of a weight loss effect.

Instead it inflated my boobs well into the DD range and made every pregnancy test I took positive.

So if you want huge boobs and a false positive on a pregnancy test, knock yourself out. But actual weight loss? I don't know about that. It's probably due more to the 500 calories a day diet than the HCG injections, but what do I know?

Also, for anyone who wants to lose weight without hunger--something Ozzie has referred to several times but without offering a solution--low carb, low carb, low carb. Or Paleo if you want to be more PC about it.

I have lost 1.5 pounds to date. Which is nothing. It's in the bobblehead range of my regular day-to-day weight fluctuations. I won't be impressed until I've lost at least 5lbs and have blasted through to new numbers I haven't seen in years. Until then, meh.

There has to be some physiologic something at play here. It's not me. I'm doing all the right things and have been for several weeks now and nothing.

I want to scream. Especially after trying on the jeans I have that are the next size down. Yikes.

That was frightening.

Not to mention demoralizing.

180 squats. That's how many I'm doing.

Plus cardio.

And naps to support the effort.

And only 1.5 lbs down.

My body does not work.

Exercise for the Weak

First, a clarification on the previous post. The ER did not give me antibiotics, which is why I went to the RE who didn't have the right antibiotics on hand, and what they did give me added heart attack symptoms to the hallucinations of death and 'dissolvement' which is how I ended up at Dr. Vicodin's. So three days and three doctor's visits just to get the right stinking antibiotic for a 1% complication of infertility treatments.

Oh, and I missed a week of work due to illness. Those pelvic infections do not mess around.

I went back and edited the post trying to make the sequence of events a little clearer to future readers. I am not sure I did such a good job of it, but I tried.

On to today's post.

Exercise is interesting. I enjoy working out, but I have to say, the fact that exercise fatigues me to the point of napping is not so enjoyable.

People tell me I look tired. I think I look tired too. Puffy and pale.

And my brain gets 'eated' by the fatigue.

Today, on the drive home from the rec center (where the toddler swam while I did a slow zombie shuffle of 1.5 miles due to be tapped out from the previous day's workout) I thought we had gone South and West to get home instead of North and East.

Didn't recognize the stores or streets around me at all. Completely convinced we were going some other direction on some other street.

Even started talking about the route with hubby who oriented me as to the reality of road and direction.

Sigh.

I feel better now. After a nap.

The other interesting thing is now I crave salt. Really crave it. Eating lots of olives.

Seems like my body has no sense of direction either.

Maybe if I scale back to 2 metabolic resistance workouts a week and low impact 'steady state' cardio in between that will mitigate things? Because I've been trying to go full bore on alternate days, interval cardio training, half an hour of squats and jumps etc... I can handle it in terms of fitness, but the energy reserves/production just aren't there.

One of the NPs in my family gently suggested maybe this wasn't the time to be trying to lose weight and exercise. Hah. If I wait for the right time, I would do nothing.

In a month, when I taper again, there will be no exercise, it will be impossible for I don't know how long. However, I hope there will be new weight loss to maintain and then, when I feel better, I will drag myself through those painful beginner workouts yet again.

Pain and pain and pain. That's what it's like to exercise with illness.

This is as good as it gets. The challenge is to figure out how to make do with less than the best.

The Dr. Vicodin Story

Right after the bullying Jesus Freak doctor, I landed at the office of Dr. Vicodin. They seemed competent enough. Zeroing in on a PCOS diagnosis on our first meeting and dashing off a referral to a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) without batting an eye (or cracking open a bible or drawing a picture for me of Jesus on the cross).

Quite refreshing.

And then things got weird.

The set up goes like this....

My first (and last) IUI cycle resulted in a pelvic infection. (IUI = turkey baster method of getting pregnant). This happens about 1% of the time (and once again I won the wrong kind of lottery!).

The pelvic infection drove me to the ER first. The pain was such that I promised God if She just let me out of the bathroom I would go to the ER. Also, it was Sunday which limited my medical care options.

The ER missed the infection. My fever was 101 but copious amounts of Advil masked it quite well and I guess my blood work was fine.

Well, the ER doc was quite sympathetic and asked me what I wanted for pain at home.

I requested prescription ibuprofen.

But they pressured me to take a prescription for Vicodin as they didn't think Ibuprofen would be enough for the pain.

I told them I didn't want Vicodin. I'd had it once before due to a root canal and thought it was useless.

So they offered me a compromise of a Vicodin/Advil combo pill for the pain.

Since I was doped up to the point of being unable to walk, I thought that was a swell idea.

What wasn't so swell was waking up in the middle of the night believing:

1. I was dead.

2. The left side of my body had dissolved.

3. There were tentacles bursting out of my stomach.

4.I was glowing in the dark.

5.I was having a heart attack, complete with pain radiating down my arm.

After a useless visit with the RE the next day, who didn't have the right antibiotic injection on hand to treat the complication of their care (seriously? and they wonder why I never went back!), I ended up at Dr. Vicodin's office due to the heart attack symptoms the antibiotics the RE prescribed caused.

They hooked me up with an antibiotic shot in the ass and a prescription for different antibiotics as the one I'd been given was the source of the heart attack symptoms. When I asked them how I should dispose of the Vicodin, they quietly palmed my bottle of narcotics, tucked it in their pocket and said they would give it to patients who couldn't afford their medications.

Then they told me some disjointed story about a 13 year-old patient who was pregnant and just acted weird in general. Too much information about other people, you know?

The whole thing seemed off to me at the time, but I didn't know what, if anything, I should've done about it.

The next time I tried to make an appointment, I was informed the doctor had moved out of state. My one doctor friend tells me this happens sometimes with docs who behave badly as a way to keep their license??? I assume Dr. Vicodin had a bit of narcotic issue as my doc friend also told me what they did was very much not kosher.

And that's the story of the doctor who took my Vicodin and ran.

Sick Strength

For Valentine's Day, I invited my hubby to try a metabolic resistance training workout with me.

And I kicked his a$.

What?

As healthy as he is and as active his work is and as much as he plays hockey, I am in better shape.

Maybe.

I have some doubts about that. Put me in a hockey game and I would probably die.

It was just one workout anyway. He'll tone up right quick and surpass me in the blink of an eye.

In terms of muscle strength, I was ready for my first pass at metabolic resistance training. It hurt. I'm sore, but I'm not walking funny. It was the kind of hard that I find fun.

I did go to bed early, slept for 10 hours, woke up tired and then took an involuntary* 4 hour nap, which is the adrenal component. Hopefully as I condition, my body will get used to the workload and it won't sap my energy so badly.

If this doesn't get weight loss moving, I don't know what will. It certainly has ramped up the asthma, which is all kinds of not awesomeness.

Eating-wise, the food has been cleaned up for about 10 days and I haven't lost any weight. So I'm restricting it further this week by doing an almond flour muffin for breakfast and a few hardboiled eggs for lunch with a protein and veggie dinner. I've cut back on diet soda and started drinking more green tea as a replacement (it's supposed to help burn belly fat, but it is also just good for you in general).

Something has to give soon. Besides my lungs and adrenals, I mean.

Right?

* Involuntary as in I didn't have much choice, was I napping or passed out? Only the adrenals know for sure.

Resisting the Plateau

I have not lost any weight since before Christmas.

For a while, I was blaming the week I spent making french-kissing, from my lips to my hips, butter toffee, drenched in chocolate and dusted it with crushed pecans.

It was supposed to be a gift for the neighbors, but uh...I ate it all. So I would make it again and then eat it again etc...

I really really really like butter toffee. A lot lot lot.

I gave up on the toffee ever leaving my house and thus, stopped making it and promptly returned to low carb, but the weight just wouldn't move.

It wasn't that much toffee, okay?

Plateaus and stalls are common in weight loss and, it seems, particularly in low carb. I think half the reason people abandon low carb is due to the unavoidable plateau somewhere between week 3 and 6.

"It's not working," they cry and then they quit in a huff. I see it all the time on the diet forums.

I know better, but this has been one heck of a long weight loss stall. Especially considering I've been exercising pretty consistently on top of all the low carb goodness. Two months with nothing? Not even half a pound? Really?

So I've been reviewing my options for busting through this stall.

1. Go ultra low carb. As in meat and egss and nothing else until a)I puke or b) lose weight, whichever comes first.

Not such an appetizing option in my opinion. Also, it's hard to be perfect with a family that doesn't low carb. Plus, adrenals = low blood sugar so I have to watch that too.

Perhaps I could do ultra low carb on alternate days or just on the weekends as a kickstart. Something to consider.

However, I have been cleaning up my diet a bit. Focusing more on low carb and less on low carb 'legal' stuff which always has more carb content. That and no snacking after dinner, which always seems to help.

2. Revisit my exercise program and look more at metabolic resistance training (a.k.a. strength cardio, high intensity interval training and interval training).

However, the adrenals don't like intense anything. I go too hard and I risk crashing (based on past experience and not wanting to risk any recovery gains I've made thus far). Heck, if I go easy I can crash so...eek.

Consider though that interval training's guiding principal is rest for twice as long as you work. That sounds right up the adrenals' alley. So I could crank out a hard minute on the elliptical and then coast for 2. Sounds doable.

On the strength cardio aspect of the concept, I would have to craft my own workout. I am not ready for P90X (I actually have no desire to ever do P90X but the principles it uses are the same as what I'm looking to do) or kettlebells and I don't have access to a gym with weights. I'm not sure I'm doing it exactly right but the routine I've come up with is something like:

SET 1

-10 plie squats

-10 plie squats with jump

-Hold squat for 10-20 seconds



Rest


SET 2

10 Burpees

Rest

etc...

Supposedly the science says if I do it like this, fast and hard with rest in between sets, that I will improve my insulin sensitivity for up to 36 hours after. Additionally, science seems to show that some kind of aerobic resistance is the best work out for insulin resistance. "Steady state cardio" (as trainers call it) is worthless for fat loss.

I kind of agree with the trainers after all these weeks of walking and ellipsing and low carbing and not losing weight.

Just can't make it too hard or else I will poop out. That will be the trick, to balance it all against what my body will actually tolerate.

Unbelievable Weird Sh*t Happens to Normal People

One of the personal dramas I've been dealing with is coming to an end and I can finally talk about it. It has nothing to do with health (other than mental) but since I mentioned it here, I'll give closure. Not to mention it's a really weird story.

I was served with a lawsuit in December. Wrongfully so, but it took a few months to sort that out and I spent that time terrified I was going to be on the hook for a lot of money I did not have. Plus imagining a judge pronouncing me guilty, the thought of which made my hyperventilate.

However, it turned out, some other company made a huge mistake and they are paying for the entire thing including my legal expenses to date.

The whole thing was/is bizarre and we still can't figure out what went wrong. The company at fault doesn't want to disclose the nature of their mistake, I gather because I could sue them???

Sue them for what I don't know as they are throwing money at the situation like there's no tomorrow and fixing the problem as far as I am concerned. Maybe their license is on the hook or something.

All I know is I am immensely grateful that things panned out this way. The whole thing was terrifying and incredibly stressful (have you ever tried to hire a lawyer in December? It can't be done!).

Lost: Patient Power, Reward if Found

There is a conversation on Brain Fog about doctors and patients that I've been participating in over the last few days.

I declared in one of my comments that the doctors have all the power, the patients don't have any.

A declaration that one of the doctors commenting felt was wrong.

Well, let's review, shall we?

Yes we shall. Oh, yes we shall.

When the A$$hole Allergist declared I didn't have asthma and maybe I had a heart problem or chronic embolism issue but didn't arrange for any diagnostic testing...

I complained.

About the lack of follow up.

About the poor testing protocols.

About the abusive behavior on the part of the physician.

Go patient power. Want to know what my 'power' did for me?

Nothing.

I still couldn't get a doctor in that system to prescribe asthma medication and spent the year using leftovers from the previous year, skipping doses to conserve what was left.

And there was still no follow up on the idea of heart or embolism problems.

The HMO did assign a new doctor to me, but it was months later which was kind of useless.

Not only was the A$$hole Allergist's bad behavior not addressed, the HMO wrote me a response and said "they didn't mean what they said." Awesome. I didn't know there were take backs in medicine. Not like that.

Am I alone in thinking that patient power is slow?

When I looked up the State Medical Board's guidelines for filing formal complaints, I found what the A$$hole Allergist did to me wasn't bad enough for a complaint.

Note: I have never ever complained about a doctor before, the A$$hole Allergist was my first. Also? I plan on complaining as much as possible, not under the illusion that it will help me, time moves too slow in medicine for that, but it might help the people after me.

When I was hospitalized with asthma the following year (now with health insurance that allowed me to see a pulmonologist who believed* I had asthma) and asked for cortisol testing because I was having problems similar to what had happened to me in the past where my am cortisol was 1.3 (I keep saying 1.9, but it was actually 1.3).

I was told no.

That it wasn't adrenal.

Yet here I am, Miss Adrenal for 1994, 1995,1998, 1999, 2000, 2010 and 2011.

Yet doctors still deny there's an adrenal problem. Including the endo who ran the blood work that yielded an am Cortisol of 6 and that was with steroids in my bloodstream (And yes I'm going to repeat that over and over until every single doctor in the universe reads it and gets a clue).

Further in the midst of this, some idiot tried, again, to tell me I didn't have asthma. Somehow they missed the part where I was in the hospital just a few weeks prior with pulse ox readings as low as 90. Not that they looked at the medical records in their computer system documenting this. No, why do that when the information would run counter to their beliefs*? They wanted me to go to therapy because they subscribed to the mind-body connection, one in which everything stems from mental illness.

Seriously, I can't make this sh*t up.

So I doctor hopped a bit which really doesn't do much other than highlight the flaws of medicine, so glaring the physicians are blind. Any positive medical outcome to date has been more a happy accident than a physician recognizing the adrenal glands are driving my problems (with the exception of the one endo who 'got it' but didn't run the testing so all the other docs persist with the idea it's not my adrenals because I don't have a test proving it so).

I am sometimes encouraged by others to go see even more doctors under the misguided belief that not all doctors could be so ignorant. I refuse, because yes, they can all be that ignorant so what's the point? The reality is, all I need are steroids and occasional blood work, if I can manage to weasel that out of the medical system, I can take care of myself regardless of what diagnosis is or isn't assigned to me.

However, I have a feeling that this is not what 'they' mean when 'they' talk about patient power.

But it's all I got.

I can complain but it doesn't result in anyone prescribing the medications and tests I need. Nor does it correlate with an improvement in physician quality or performance.

I can ask for another doctor or make the appointment myself (if the insurance allows) but a)it eats up enormous amounts of time, time in which things can go wrong and b) there's no guarantee the next doc will be any better. Better the devil you know than the one you don't.

Further, with asthma, there is a certain amount of incapacitation during acute phases where I can't defend myself because I can't talk or reason well.

So where is my power and how do I use it? Please tell me.

Oh and here are some more examples of my Patient Power in action for your reading pleasure: the bullying Jesus Doctor nutjob and the pulmonologist who screamed at me. There's also the primary care physician who took my vicodin and ran, but I haven't had a chance to write that story up yet.

Oh yeah, I sure do have all sorts of patient power.

If you define that as being constantly ignored and having a talent for finding the weirdos in medicine.

In which case, I am a mega watt super star, baby.


*I use believed and beliefs quite deliberately here as it is what the doctor believes more so than any objective evidence that confers diagnosis and determines treatment.