This and That, Chernobyl Edition

I don't know why I'm posting every day of late, although the big pile of dreaded editing giving me the hairy eyeball likely explains it. Anything but that.

The asthma is not controlled. It's yanking me out of sleep with symptoms. Not sure what the cause is other than the weather has been up and down a lot. Yesterday we had snow.

My spacers died. Note the plural. Yes, they both died at the same time. Apparently, rubber/silicone cracks after a decade. I have yet to replace them because I really like their design and they don't seem to be available anywhere. So that may be a factor in the poor control as well. Especially considering I'm having a hard time inhaling fully until about noon.

It's unpleasant, but not serious. It serves only to alarm physicians who are stuck with me as a patient and make daily life more irritating for me. It will go nowhere because my main trigger is not present--no germs on board makes for mild asthma.

The toddler fell down the stairs yesterday. She's scraped and bruised, but fine. Just to stay on theme, my attack furniture impaled my hip as I rushed to her. And all I can say is I felt a sense of victory that it wasn't my knee.

Our house guest has noted the toddler falls a lot. So we are not yet to where it's at a normal, not worthy of commentary level. Fatigue is a trigger. The day she had Tae Kwon Do (which is an adult work out, I would huff and puff in that class), walked a mile and ran the playground, she began falling and tripping all over the place. Three bloody scrapes in total.

My fatigue is still there, but the iron supplements definitely blunt it. I really think I had maybe slipped into anemia there for a second. It would also help if the toddler would sleep past 7am. She used to sleep until 8:30, but now with daylight savings time we are up at the equivalent of 6am. Ow.

We are working on a cancer care package. So far, a soft, warm blanket, a bag to carry it and a plan to buy lots of favorite candies that aren't available where they live. Hubby wanted to arrange a visit, but the surgery is happening so fast, we can't pull it off.

Hubby asked me if stress could give you cancer. I sort of rolled my eyes. I hate the New Age idea that our feeeelings can kills us. It victimizes people who have done nothing other than try to live their lives. So they get sick and then we tell them if they just had better emotions they wouldn't be doing this to themselves. Ugh. Hate that.

Do our emotions impact our biochemistry? Yes. Do they impact our behavior? Yes. So, on some level, how we feel and what we do about it have a physiological impact that could enhance an infection or help foster cancer. But it's more than that. Look at Henrietta Lacks, her cancer cells march on even though her emotions died a long time ago.

The hubby's family was exposed to Chernobyl. They were not in the Ukraine, but it hit their city anyway. Chernobyl hit a lot of places. So did Japan.

We are braised in a toxic stew and some of us cook faster than others.

Hippity Hoppity

I think the iron supplements are helping, although it's only day 5, so pretty early to attribute anything to them. I just remember the last time I was iron deficient, it took about a week of supplements to notice an improvement.

In case anyone is wondering, as it seems low iron goes hand-in-hand with adrenal stuff, anemia is about 30% of the fatigue with 70% being the adrenal piece. So iron supplements will definitely give you a boost, if you need them.

I worked out fairly regularly last week, around the days where I was just flat-out exhausted. I'm still struggling with how to approach fitness when I'm constantly interrupted by one stupid thing or another. I'd like to be consistent, it's just very difficult to push myself when I'm sick or injured or absorbed in a project.

And I hesitate to get too ambitious now because I know the elliptical will be pulled out from under me the second I get anywhere. Maybe that's defeatist, but it also happens to be true.

For the record, I did an interval walk/run yesterday and today I have significant GI symptoms. It might just be something I ate or I may be on the slide down, we'll see.

Easter was fun, but hectic. We barely saw the hubby who tore down one wall on the garage and rebuilt it from the ground up. As I whined to him, we didn't do much together as a family with the holiday weekend. There wasn't much down time and lounging around as a family, which I missed.

The toddler forgot her Easter basket would be in the basement and sobbed hysterically until we reminded her. I've been stockpiling for her basket since January and the big hit was a hand-me-down pop-up tent with lounge chairs for her to play fort in.

I did have a chocolate bunny for her, but she's been getting so much candy from everyone else, I left it out of the basket and just did presents. Small things like books.

She went through her basket with exclamations of glee and then looked at me and said, "Where's the candy?"

I blamed the Easter Bunny. I told her he didn't eat enough vegetables to poop out jelly beans for every one. I suggested she sign up to help for next year, but even the promise of poop-turned-jellybeans can't get the kid to eat broccoli.

One last thing, I had water today flavored with orange and mint. It was awesome. Cut up two oranges, add mint, top with water and let marinate for several hours. Very refreshing....to adults, kids seem to hate it.

Pissed Off Unhappy Camper

My blood work is back.

The good news? I've pretty much resolved my anemia tendencies although there are some small markers showing my red blood cell production is still not optimal.

The bad news? I tested positive for thyroid antibodies meaning I really do have Hashimotos.

Which, I had kind of hoped that test would be normal and I would be the lucky recipient of a get-out-of-jail-free card. But no.

In theory, Hashimotos is no big deal--at least all the experts say so. But I am still pretty bummed to confirm my thyroid is slowly being destroyed and there's nothing I can do to stop it.

Why do things have to keep going wrong?

I also sent a fax off to the endo regarding the latest adrenal craziness. I don't expect them to do much, but I don't want to be over here doing strange things with prednisone behind their back either.

My latest idea is to try an alternate day dose schedule for a while. Once I stabilize I mean, which I have yet to do. I'm still feeling kind of rough, but I delayed taking prednisone under some delusion I could just power through this, so I'm just paying the piper. Also I think I'm giving up exercise for a while as it seems to be a trigger.

I have high hopes for tomorrow being a better day.

Or else.

So Confused

Spoke to the pulmo today. The thinking is Friday was the day my body just hit the wall.

Whaddaya mean we're not getting prednisone everyday? I'll show you what I think of that, missy.

So now we wait???? And retest in 2 weeks if things don't come back????

The thing that sucks about that is I have to live my life, you know? I have to clean my house (which I'm all for letting things slide when ill but, you know, basic hygiene = important). Cook. Work. Parent.

Forget exercise, I'm just trying to navigate the bare minimum of daily life. It feels like climbing Mount Everest.

Plus, to top things off, I need to baby the hubby who has been sick with some kind of stomach bug. Which, thank God I have not caught that. The last thing I need to be doing is puking. Hubby is never sick and is a typical guy; he can't handle the pain. So he has required lots of TLC at a time when just moving my arms is so. hard. and I keep falling asleep unintentionally.

And I'm confused on whether or not I'm anemic. The ER doc said "You barely have any red blood cells. You're probably anemic." The pulmo is saying "Eh, there are people walking around with hemoglobins of 10 and they're fine. You're not anemic. Don't worry about it."

I don't particularly care one way or the other, but I had been clinging to this idea that maybe the weakness and shortness of breath can be blamed on anemia. If I had my choice, I would much rather have anemia than low cortisol. Actually, I'd rather have neither, but since that is not how my body works, let's pick easy over hard, shall we?

The official prescription is to rest. Take it easy. When I feel bad, have some simple sugar and have someone watch me--if I don't improve call 911 and go to the ER.

Except....

I'm home alone.

Every day.

With the toddler.

Yeah, this is going to go well. *sarcasm*

What a mess, no? Just a hawt mess.

Well, let's focus on the positive shall we?

I can keep my eyes open.

I think I can drive okay.

I don't feel like I'm going to pass out.

That's it, that's all I got.

Post Script: 2010 has sucked for me and mine. Hubby has been sick multiple times and he is NEVER sick--he even went to the doctor of his own volition. The toddler was continuously sick from January through March. I was sick March through April, now going into May.

I told my husband, we may as well shoot for June so it's an even six months.

Pumping Up the Blood

The OB appointment has been made for next week. Now I'm running in circles trying to get the tests from yesterday released to her because they refuse to give me copies.

They say they 'can't.'

Which is bullshit.

I know for a fact the doctor or NP can print shit off and hand it to me. They do it all the time.

God forbid patients be able to facilitate medical care with actual information. Can't have that, bureaucracy trumps health care.

I know better than to think I'll win this one. Red tape is evil. I would love to see some patient friendly laws on obtaining medical records. It shouldn't be this hard to get information to your doctor. (I'm also in favor of electronic records that can be accessed by any physician anywhere.)

In other news, since I was flirting with anemia before, I am now taking iron and C twice a day for a while. I feel like I've faded a bit. Just not as strong as I was. I rested most of the day yesterday and today did a s-l-o-w work out on the elliptical this morning. Hopefully I'll bounce back pretty quickly.

It's not like I can't breath or anything. So I'm not that sick. Non-asthma sick = easy. Usually.