Hypocrisy

 When you have sleep apena, the scare tactics come out.

You're going to have a heart attack.

A stroke.

A car accident.

People are going to DIE.

You could KILL someone.

Then they fuck you up with the machine and you are so sleep deprived, you have no business doing anything but binging Netflix. Even then, you're so glassy eyed, you're mostly staring without understanding.

And they're mum.

It's fine. No need for time off. Or FMLA. Or short term disability.

Suck it up. We only care when it increases revenue.

But a lot of people feel way worse starting CPAP/APAP treatment. It's inhumane to pretend it's not happening and that it doesn't present a risk.

In my corporate days, I could blow up planes with a bad decision. That's why I left when my kid didn't sleep for shit. I didn't feel comfortable with the risk. So. Like, what the fuck, medicine? Seriously?

I'm lucky. I just peaced out of work for a while with this. It's not ideal nor sustainable, but I don't get fired. I just lose income. At least I have the option.

I can't imagine how other people who struggle to adapt to it manage. I see a lot who don't feel better until after a year (or more!) on CPAP/APAP. That's insane! 

Do better. It's not cool to blow up people's lives like this and pretend it's not happening.

Asthma today: It's early and I haven't done much and I'm prone to being overly optimistic right when I get up before the day drop kicks me so...grain of salt. I have a productive cough. The skin on my chest can't be moved. You can feel every bone and dips between where the skin is sucked in--which, yes, that sounds serious, but it's not always the best indicator in my experience. While it means the asthma is active, it's not typically predictive. The cough is more concerning...more indicative of asthma digging in and/or an infection brewing.

All that said, I think I'm a bit better than yesterday? Maybe? Or I'm still dreaming. One of those.