Monday, April 26, 2010

I Love Me Some Anal

So I went to see the dermatologist the other day. I've been to the practice before, but the doc was new to me.

I actually should pause here to disclose that I forgot to list an ailment on the side bar. I have moles galore. Which is not a medical term. Obviously. I can't remember the medical term because it has about 100 words in it. Hyperdysplasia is one of the words.

What it means is my moles have moles which also have moles and they ALL look abnormal.

I even have multiple moles on the palms of my hands.

So whenever I see a doctor, no matter what it's for, I get a lecture on my moles.

In labor and need an IV? The anesthesiolgoist stopped and scolded me to get my moles checked. (Dude, that was NOT the time, okay? He was an ass, by the way, too.)

Can't breathe in the ER? "You need to get your moles checked."

Random strangers will tell me I need to get my moles checked.

I've even had men reference my moles as part of their pick up game (back when I was younger and hotter).

So, you know, they are pretty alarming/striking. I guess. I don't really pay much attention to them.

I do get the annual mole check. I've worn sunscreen since I was 20, wear sun hats etc...There is some family history of skin cancer, although no one has as many moles as me

My frustration with the annual mole check is no one ever biopsies everything. Here everyone treats my moles as a 5 alarm fire. They get me all worked up, but then nothing happens. It's annoying.

But 2 years ago, I finally had one that was determined to need a biopsy and it did come back as precancerous.

Ergo, I try to keep up with the dermatologist.

And man, this chick was ON THE BALL. Loves it!

She was invested in me, which was super amazing. She heard me. She got me. She was detailed, she believed my history--I had credibility. We were on the same page.

And she was anal to the max, very intense. When I forgot a slip of paper on which she'd written a product name for me to try, she called me not 5 minutes later to tell me so--I hadn't even left the building. I had to actually talk her down and reassure her that I wouldn't forget.

She was more anal than I am. Which is fine with me. She totally deserves chocolate the next time I see her. Call me crazy, but I like it when doctors pay attention to the details.

Too bad my skin issues are minor. What I really need is this level of anal in an endocrinologist.

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