Wednesday, April 21, 2010

That's MISS Bitch to You & Other Notes from the Edge




You want to know what happens to me sometimes?

I turn into a serial killer.

At least it feels like I do.

Then I eat some sugar and begin to feel better.

I had some apologizing to do tonight to the hubby and requested that, any time I behave that horrid toward him in the future, to please offer me some sugar.

Gives new meaning to the old saying 'you catch more flies with honey.'

In other news, I'm still having 'problems'. I am just so over this. If you look at the side bar you can see where I added a section for incoming lab work. This way I won't inundate you with even more posts when lab results come back (I AM posting a lot, but I usually am a prolific blogger. Also, there's a lot going on. When there is not so much going on, I will not post so much. Promise.).

My blood related cells dropped lower than they were a month ago, so I'm quite keen to find the main water valve and solder that thing shut. It would be nice to avoid anemia proper.

You know, I think part of my funk was frustration with my blood work being 'normal'. The hormones are all normal. You would never know I had to do IVF to get pregnant. So frustrating when there's clearly a problem and nothing shows up.

Although, this one time, I had a negative test, but they did the surgery anyways and it was much worse than they ever imagined (the surgeon's words, not mine). I'll have to tell that story sometime.

On the upside, my peak flow meter is not whoring around behind my back. I have no STDs. I'm not knocked up either

(Parenthetical Aside: It is always so funny when medical personnel try to argue with me about being pregnant.

-I'm infertile.

-But you could be pregnant.

-I was really infertile. Like hardcore. Dead people have a better shot at procreating.

-But you could be pregnant.

-Well, if God intervened maybe.

-Okay, so we'll check to be sure.

-Yeah, umm whatever you want to do.

Doing the test is fine, but don't argue with me about it. I am infertile. Pregnancy would be like winning the super lotto, scoring with Johnny Depp and being declared a Saint on the same damn day. Could it happen? Sure. Is it likely? No.)

Anyhoo...the next step is an ultrasound. A prescription of some kind to stop the bleeding. And probably a mammogram.

Oh and another thing. I'm beginning to wonder if I ever had high blood pressure. I think things have progressed to where I'm so wound up just by going to the doctor, that my fight or flight response kicks into gear. I don't know for sure yet. I'm still on prednisone, but the only place I have really high HIGH blood pressure? The doctor's office.

Also, tying me to a blood pressure machine just as the toddler runs off to God knows where and you* do NOTHING to protect my kid is NOT the way to get an accurate blood pressure reading. You trip the momma bear switch and you'll be lucky to have any blood left by the time I am finished with you never mind getting a decent BP reading on me.

Oops. There I go again. Maybe I need to find some more sugar.

*Yes, I know it's not the nurse's or aide's job to watch my kid, but if I'm literally attached to a machine, would you please make sure my child isn't about to kill herself/visit people in the bathroom? The same way any one of us would try to help a baby heading for the street? Thank you.

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