Apnea Complex Fun

 

I feel like I slept great last night. I slept straight through and woke up on my side, breathing through my nose. Seemed like a good start to the day.

I'm still tired though and that makes me feel like apnea is killing me lol.

Like, I'm anxious about sleep now and I stress about driving. Am I awake? Am I paying attention? Do I see things? Is my fatigue pathological? Is the current fatigue level one where I shouldn't drive? I should be treating this apnea, but I can't because asthma, but I should be treating this apnea, but I can't because asthma and and and. 

Sigh. 

Their fear based patient education got under my skin. I'm trying not to let it. I'm clearly better without the machine...but they still got me. I'm a rule follower at heart. This is making me twitchy.

Anyway, despite the sense of sleeping well, my lungs are not great today. Why? I don't know. They should be fine. Stupid windbags.

And by the way, you do know, these blog posts are, at their core, a sign that I can't function fully? Right? When I can do all the things, I'm not here to whine on the internet. When I can live my life, I go live it. When I can't, you get daily blog posts.

Fun.

I'm trying. I really am. I worked on mastering a major work goal this week and made great progress on learning the tech. I'm angling to make dinner more often as 1) I'm a better cook than the others and the food has been sucking lately--the one person willing to cook the most has an, shall we say, interesting palate, and  2) we had tater tots for dinner last night because no one wanted to cook. And to be clear, that's all we had. Just tater tots. They were delicious but we need to do better. So I'm going to try.

What is that Yoda says? Do or do not. There is no try. Well, clearly that alien leprechaun never had covid, but I shall attempt the do part harder. We'll see.

Kid news: Called the ped to ask for a prescription for ~$600 of mobility aids the PT has suggested. I'm not sure if insurance will cover it, but if they will, we met our deductible and may as well try. Right? 

It's interesting to me that the ped is all 'no problem, just have PT send me what they want prescribed' and no one is giving side eye to the complete lack of a diagnosis. Or the fact that this has actually progressed since she was a toddler. (Possibly from the Lyme or Covid, but also, you know what? Maybe we don't have the right diagnosis.)

Is this a thing in medicine? We just throw mobility aids at kids and don't even care why? I didn't think it was a thing, but it seems to be?

Hmmm. I actually know some peds in my circle well enough that I might ask what the norms are on this one.

(At the same time, I think the issues she's having are falling into an area where there aren't a lot of specialists. So maybe our experience reflects that. I just hate not knowing. I like to know. Especially when it's my kid.)

Meanwhile, we keep trying to move forward and give her good experiences and inputs. Life doesn't stop even if your body's idea of walking has a lot in common with a drunk zombie. Some of our homeschool stuff started this week and so far, so good. Her (very) part-time job just raves about her and she has every right to feel proud of herself.