First Blush of Welp

Got the MRI report. Liver seems stable as far as I can tell. I haven't heard form the hep yet, but that part of the report reads good.

Buuuuut now the pancreas is apparently getting precancer-y and in need of follow-up per the MRI report.

In theory, size-wise it doesn't look like it would need surgery yet BUT it has grown and location wise, yes, I may need a fucking pancreatic resection. May. That's just first blush pass of my reading upon this. We'll see.

So. Yeesh.

Hopefully the hep has a pancreas specialist referral for me so I don't have to chase that down myself.

I so wanted a break. Not going to get one though.

If I was 80, this would be easy. I'd just go straight to palliative or hospice or whatever care involves doing nothing but having a good time. But I'm too young for that still. I have to run the medical torture gauntlet. I have to at least try. For a while anyway. 

Fuck.

I'll get with the hep and figure out if what I think I'm understanding is way off base or not and what the next step is.

Fuck.

Also...on track to kind of completely line up with one tumorgenic genetic thing and yet I'm negative on testing. How???

Always the anomaly, never diagnosed. 

I am really wondering if the genetic testing should be repeated in case of lab errors. This seems like a one in a trillion coincidence... So many things lining up and then never bearing out on testing. One...really weird, but maybe. But I'm up to two like this at this point. That doesn't seem right.

If we're beating odds, could I please just win the lottery?